If I Had Known

Happy Valentine's Day!

2012-02-14T05:48:00.001-06:00

Last year I made fish for the girls' classmates. This year, flowers........

Deb is in Mexico living it UP and celebrating her birthday in the sun......love you lady!

Funny Stuff She Says

2012-02-10T12:38:00.005-06:00

Lillian unfortunately had an accident in bed last night. After I got her and the sheets changed, I was laying with her trying to get her to go back to sleep. I took a moment to say that accidents happen, but that it's probably a good idea to start wearing pull-ups to bed again.

Lillian: "but WHY Mama?"
Mama: "So that you don't pee the bed again."
Lillian: "But I'm BIG!"
Mama: "I know, but maybe you aren't big enough to sleep all night without an accident."
Lillian: "I won't pee."
Mama: "You just did....."
Lillian: "But, But, BUT I'm NOT peeing NOW!!!"

Coming down the stairs in a rush to catch my bus, I realized I forgot something upstairs and said "Shit!"...

Lillian: "Girls don't say that word!"
Mama: "You're right.....I'm sorry"
Lillian: Yeah, I can't say it, Edith can't say it, YOU can't say it....."
Mama: "Yep, it's not nice"
Lillian: "Just Papa.....he's not a girl."

Love Letter: Month Twenty

2012-02-09T12:31:00.005-06:00

Dear Edith,

Today is your twenty-month birthday and for some reason that word "twenty" reminds me that we’re rounding third and heading towards TWO YEARS OLD. How can that be? But clearly you aren’t a baby anymore…..

This month has been exciting for many reasons, but I think your increased ability to communicate stands out the most for me. You’re moving towards saying complete sentences rather than just one or two word phrases which amazes us daily. Just this week as I was carrying you out of your room in the morning you saw Lillian and said “HEY soul sister!”…..I don’t think we’ve ever smiled bigger. “I want it” and “I don’t want to” are couple of my favorite sayings of yours…..says your Mama with a smirk. You prefer to say “ahhh huh” rather than “yes” , but “NNNNOO!” is clearly a word you’ve perfected. You call the cats by their names, are able to ask for “more juice”, and say “all done” when finished eating. We’ve been working on sharing and you often say “Here you go!” when handing something over and then when receiving you’ll say “Thank You!”.

Two weeks ago we started swim lessons together. During the first lesson you said “NNNNNNOO!” and “All Done!” repeatedly, but you never actually cried. But then last week, you put your face in the water and tried to blow bubbles! I’m not sure who was more surprised…..me or you. Of course the rest of the lesson consisted of you saying “Bubbles!” and the two of us dipping our faces in the water and laughing together. Papa and Lillian are in the same class with us although they spend the lesson actually swimming. It’s pretty amazing to remember that this time last year was her first lesson….I’m confident that soon you’ll be doing the same.

You’ve recently taken an interest in reading your own books and are having fun pointing at the words and pictures in said books. Lillian even helps quiz you and says “She got IT!” when you point correctly. Your favorite book is clearly ‘Brown Bear’ and we read it daily.

In addition to words, you’ve started counting as well. You say “Hands!” and reach out to hold a hand before attempting to climb a flight of stairs. While climbing I often count the stairs and this month you’ve joined in. I said “one” and you’d followed up with “TWO!...THREE!”. In the last week though it’s become clear that you know more numbers that that…..last night we counted to TEN!

Brushing teeth has become one of your favorite things to do. You say “TEETH!” and then head right into the bathroom, climb up on your stool, and grab your brush. Your enthusiasm generates a desire for Lillian to brush her teeth as well…..or maybe she just knows you need her help. Your daily bath has also become an enjoyable sister event with Lillian dishing out the soap and teaching you how to wash your hair. You take turns dumping water over each others head and squirting water out of empty soap containers. Lillian shows off her swimming moves while you splash until the bathroom floor is drenched. I honestly think you’d both spend an hour in the tub if we let you.

In early January your upper incisor teeth FINALLY broke through your gums after a couple of weeks of rough sleeping. I’m confident that your bottom canines are starting to emerge as well as this week has been brutal in the sleep department. You’ve been waking up every night unfortunately, but I think I FINALLY figured out how to comfort you. I put your blankie over my shoulder, you rest your head on the blankie, and then I rock you back to sleep as I sing “Hush Little Baby”. No other song will do so I often find myself making up new chorus’ to extend the life of the song until you fall back to sleep. Although I’m exhausted I also know full well that these moments will be gone soon.

All in all, it’s been a month full of the usual ups and downs with two girls seventeen months apart. We’re still trying to navigate toddler tantrums and sister rivalries, but the more you’re able to communicate, the better it seems. There is still yelling, hair pulling, and hitting, but strides are being made in the right direction. You girls are our life….bringing us sorrow and joy all the while teaching us lessons daily. We ALL make mistakes, but we’re in this together….Team Mehmen forever!

Love, Mama

Terrible Three's?

2012-02-01T16:37:00.002-06:00

I picked up the girls from school yesterday and found Lillian in timeout…something that NEVER happens. Turns out she was in timeout TWICE….once for hitting and once for yelling! Carol, our daycare provider, was as surprised as we were. Her friend Brendon was worse….essentially in timeout all day long (also unheard of) so I’m not sure if she was feeding off him or what. Brendon’s Dad and I talked a bit about it in the driveway when we were leaving. He said Brendon has been a bear all weekend…even getting a spanking on Monday night.

I’ve mentioned before that we’ve entered the world of sister jealously at our house and unfortunately Lillian has been the recipient of some hitting and yelling from Edith. We’ve been working with Edith, but she’s still fairly young. She can’t voice her complaints with words quite yet and it seems like she hits and yells to show her dissatisfaction with ~~her sister~~ the world. We’re honestly not sure how to discipline her, but have mostly been getting down to her level, holding her hands, and saying “We don’t hit or yell at our sister”. Lillian is always present when we do this so I know she’s heard our words…..she knows better than to hit and yell. So why did she do it? Because her sister does? Because Brendon did? Or because she was just being naughty. Who knows.

J and I decided she needed to get punished at home as well because we aren’t going to tolerate being naughty…especially at school…. so after her dinner and bath, she went to bed….no playing, no movies, just bed. She took the news fairly well and although she cried in her room, she didn’t have a full on fit. For the record, we checked on her multiple times to make she she was okay to remind her why she was there.

She amazingly slept through the night!!! (that is a completely different issue, grrrrr) and woke up this morning in a great mood. We talked to her about the fact that TODAY is a NEW DAY….we essentially get to hit the restart button every single day….so let’s make this one fabulous! We danced a jig, got dressed, had breakfast, did come coloring, etc.

And then it happened……whah, whah, whhhaaaaahhhhh. She DID NOT want J to help her with her boots and coat. NO, Mama had do it….BUT Mama was busy helping Edith get her shoes and coat on. TWO girls, ONE Mama…..AHHHHH!!

A full on fit occurred and by the time I got on my bus this morning, I felt like I ran a marathon…..actually no, I was emotionally drained rather than physically drained. I guess a marathon is like that as well, but I tell you there are days where I’d rather run a marathon than parent. At least with a marathon you know the end is in sight….only 10 more miles left, 8 more miles, 4 more miles, etc. And you’ve probably researched the course so you KNOW that the killer hill is during mile 12. With parenthood, the killer hill comes out of NOWHERE….it’s like a mountain just popped up right in front of your face and BAM…..you’ve got to figure out how to get up it….in the snow, without shoes, BOTH WAYS. And it’s more than just you….dragging yourself up the hill is one thing, but also dragging two small children is a completely different situation. Children who you love more than life itself…children who you desperately want to be proud of and their behavior seems like a direct representation of how you’ve raised them. Good God PLEASE don’t let us mess this up.

I have no idea what she’s doing right now….probably playing blocks and having a grand old time….not thinking at all about the event of the morning while I can NOT stop thinking about it. Or at least I hope she’s having fun….I guess she could be in timeout :(

Three Years

2012-02-01T08:14:00.002-06:00

It's been three years and I still remember the excitement!

Chicken Gyros

2012-01-31T06:22:00.001-06:00

I haven't posted a new recipe in awhile which isn't to say I haven't tried any.....THIS one however was worthy of a post. Thanks Myndi!

Chicken Gyros

Directions for Tzatiki Sauce

To make the tzatziki sauce, shred the cucumber and wrap in a towel to remove as much water as possible. Mix together the yogurt, shredded cucumber, garlic, white wine vinegar, salt and pepper to taste, and lemon juice. Drizzle llightly with olive oil. Refrigerate for at least 30 minutes before serving to allow the flavors to meld. Note, I let mine sit overnight.

Ingredients for Chicken

4 cloves garlic, smashed

To prepare the chicken, combine the garlic, lemon juice, red wine vinegar, olive oil, yogurt, oregano, and salt/pepper to taste in a medium bowl. Whisk together until mixed well. Add the chicken to bowl and coat well. Cover and refrigerate for one hour. Note, I let mine sit overnight.

Cook the chicken as desired. Note I cooked mine in a skillet on the stovetop. Once the chicken is cooked throughly, cut into strips.

Additional Ingredients

Pita bread
Fresh tomatoes, dices
Red onion, sliced thin

Serve chicken in warm pita bread pockets with tzatiki sauce and toppings.

Juice of 1 lemon

2 tsp. red wine vinegar

2 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil

2 heaping tbsp. plain yogurt

1 tbsp. dried oregano

Salt and pepper

1 1/4 lbs. chicken pieces (I used boneless, skinless chicken breasts)

Directions for Chicken

Ingredients for Tzatiki Sauce

16 oz. Greek yogurt (not nonfat, if possible)

1/2 hothouse cucumber or 1 regular cucumber, peeled and seeded

2-3 cloves garlic, pressed through a garlic press (or finely minced)

1 tsp. white wine vinegar

Salt and pepper

Squeeze of fresh lemon juice

Extra virgin olive oil

Weekend Wrap Up

2012-01-30T12:37:00.001-06:00

This weekend Miss Edith counted to three……well I said “One….” and then she chimed in with “Two, THREE!”. She also called her favorite book by name for the first time… “Brown Bear”. Two steps forward for sure.

Unfortunately this morning we took a step back. When she ate half of an English muffin for breakfast and said “More!”, I assumed WRONG….thinking she wanted the other half. CLEARLY that was NOT what she wanted because when I brought it over to her she said “No!”, picked the muffin off the plate, and threw it to the ground. And if that wasn’t enough, she threw her head back and tried to slide out of her chair….desperately searching for the floor so that she could roll around. You know her point isn’t made UNLESS there is some rolling around on the floor.

As I stood there is disbelief, J walked in and said “She wants a waffle”. OF COURSE she did because “More!” really means “more WAFFLE!” rather than the thing she most recently ate. Times like these are frustrating…especially when it comes with a play by play by her older sister…..“Edith is upset” said Lillian. Really, you think?!?

Saturday morning we had our first swim lesson with BOTH girls. Lillian took two sessions of this lesson last winter and was REALLY excited to get back in the water. This however was going to be Edith first lesson and I was prepared for the worst. She did say “NO!” and “All done!” randomly throughout the thirty minute class, BUT she didn’t cry at all…whew. She also had a tight grip on my swim suit until the last five minutes when we found a ball she liked. She laughed as she threw the ball around and I honestly wished we could have played with it a bit longer. Next week I’ll be sure to find that ball at the beginning of the class.

Lillian did awesome in the class….kicking her legs, paddling her arms, jumping in the pool wild wild abandon, and closing her eyes/holding her breath to go under. I reminded myself a few times that exactly a year ago she was the one with a death grip on my suit saying “All done!”.

Soul Sisters

2012-01-27T06:59:00.001-06:00

For the record we are NOT Train fans, but you knew this already. God help me this song should NOT have cost $1.29 on iTunes.....BUT it did....and I paid for it. Hangs head in shame. BUT it's the song that comes to me every time I hear the words "soul sister" and it gets said A LOT in our house. Lets face it, the song is catchy....which is exactly why I laughed out loud when I saw that the genre is "Pop". OF COURSE it's "Pop"! And of course our soul sisters shimmy to it with the best of them.....

New Ink

2012-01-25T11:37:00.002-06:00

On my eighteenth birthday I borrowed my Mom's car and drove with two friends to Davenport, IA where I got a tattoo. I'm not sure why exactly....probably just because I could. I chose a butterfly out of a book I checked out of the Clinton Public Library....a butterfly that I thought was pretty. Why I butterfly? I think it had to do with how an "ugly" caterpillar becomes a "beautiful" butterfly. Funny since I now read this book on a daily basis to the girls. You know what is also funny? Sixteen years later, my tattoo is officially considered a "tramp stamp". I was FAR from a tramp at age eighteen so the tag line definitely doesn't apply to me.

During the February after my nineteenth birthday, I walked up Welsh Avenue in Ames and got my second tattoo. It is a spin off yin yang (everything in balance) symbol that I got placed on my left shoulder blade. It's not nearly as beautiful as my butterfly, but the meaning is significant....still after all these years.

Last weekend found us traveling to Buffalo, IA to visit some old friends. Boon and I are both Capricorns....our birthdays only two days apart....so it was the perfect excuse to get together. I was NOT apart of the planning conversation that made the weekend a full on par-TAY complete with a trip to a tattoo studio, but you know me....when in Rome. For the last few weeks I himmed and hawed over another tattoo and finally landed on these.....

I chose a line from this poem by E.E. Cummings for Lillian (I carry your heart) and a part of a quote by Henry David Thoreau for Edith (Wild & Free). Both are PERFECT and I couldn't be more thrilled. A new tattoo wasn't something that was in my realm a month ago, but today....four days after they were inked on my skin...I can't imagine my body withOUT them.

In addition to the new ink, I also walked away with a weekend for the record books. Thank you to my peeps for loving me (and my girls) so much! I'd post pictures of your new tats, but I think it's a personal decision.....this IS the internet afterall.

In Sickness and In Health

2012-01-24T07:40:00.000-06:00

When Lillian gets a cold I can predict the first 48 hours with spot on precision because the same thing happens EVERY SINGLE TIME.

A cold for her always starts with a cough and she ~~says~~ whines "Mama, I coughing." And then she coughs NON-STOP for 48 hours. For some reason her snot just drains down the back of her throat into her stomach. Since she REFUSES to eat, she gets a stomach ache. So she flips around like a fish, clearly unable to get comfortable saying things like "My tummy hurts!" and "I'm going to puke!". And sure enough, she'll start crying, her body temperature will escalate, and she'll puke up the snot that has drained to her belly.

In addition, a cold ALWAYS triggers her asthma.....although her pediatrician won't officially diagnose asthma until age five....telling me every time that she could grow out of it. Her asthma results in wheezing and therefore low oxygen levels so I pull out the nebulizer and give her Albuterol treatments every four hours. Thankfully the treatments typically do help.

And there it is. If you need me in the next two days, I'll be at home using my Paid Time Off on one sick three year old and a nineteen month old who has more energy than the rest of us combined. There will be coughing, puking, and sister jealously issues.

Someday I WILL use my PTO on a dream vacation.....it just won't be today.

Potty Conversations

2012-01-23T12:35:00.002-06:00

I mentioned before that this potty training thing snuck up on us and therefore so did the potty conversations. I was NOT prepared for these.....

Lillian: "Mama, come look......I pooped a BIG one!"

Lillian: "I pooped and peed.....AT THE SAME TIME!"

This past weekend we visited some friends who have a six year old son and he was amazing with our girls....sharing his toys and room, watching Micky Mouse Clubhouse instead of Power Rangers, and even offering to let them use his Spiderman soap in the bathtub. But when Lillian came running out of the bathroom saying, "I pooped TWO.....come see!" Briar was not amused. He response mimicked exactly what I wanted to say > "GROSS....that's private!"

It truly is a slippery slope as you want to offer your encouragement, but I haven't heard the word "poop" or said the word "potty" this often before in my life. I'm honestly still adjusting to this life I call my own.

Love Letter: Month Nineteen

2012-01-20T07:23:00.005-06:00

Dear Edith,

Your nineteenth month birthday was earlier this month....eleven days ago. This is the latest I've ever written a love letter although I've thought about it often during the last week. Please know that the later it got the more guilt I felt....worried that you're getting left out....the dreaded second child syndrome in full effect. But honestly every single time I was going to write I honestly didn't have a lot of positive things to say. This month has been brutal although the highs have been HIGH. That's the thing with you.....you are passionate about EVERYTHING in this life. The highs are SOOO high, but man alive the lows are sooooo LOW. Ugh. Although I intend for these love letters to be a direct representation of our life, I also don't want it filled only with the bad because girlfriend, you are SOOO much more than that.

This month your vocabulary has quadrupled with the highlight being the ability to say your sisters name. The first time you said "Lillian" she stopped in her tracks, opened her mouth into a big 'O' and gasped. It was clearly something she was excited about and who wouldn't blame her.....it IS exciting! You've been saying it daily and the thrill hasn't left....for any of us. You've also perfected pointing out your body parts.....head, eyes, ears, nose, hands, fingers, feet, and of course your favorite.....the belly. You lift your shirt and laugh...and then you lift mine and laugh some more. You see you like pointing out your body parts as well as mine....so you start with yours and then say "Mama's" as you point out mine. In addition to body parts, you've mastered clothing...."socks!", "shoes!", and "coat!" you say as we get ready to leave the house every morning. I can't leave this paragraph without the ever present "I WANT it!" either because like everything, you are VERY passionate about the things you want.

Even though your vocabulary is expanding on a daily basis, it's very clear that you still are unable to express yourself when upset. Instead of using your words, you'll tell us with your body.....throwing your head back while being held with the force of a steam engine. It's like you WANT me to drop you. OR if your standing on your own two feet, you'll drop in an instant....throwing your body onto the floor and then rolling around to prove your point. I remember your sister doing this as well, but you do it MUCH more passionately. I'm honestly worried you're going to hurt yourself.

We celebrated Christmas late last month and although still young, you had a good time. Of all your presents I think your most favorite was your own stool. You see Lillian has a stool and you'd been desperate to stand on it.....inching your way in and honestly trying to steal it away form her so that you could be apart of the action which is perfectly understandable. So Santa brought you your very OWN stool and you were THRILLED. You ripped open the wrapping in tiny pieces like all others, but when you made eye contact with said stool you were instantly determined to get it out of the box and take it for a spin. It's been a few weeks and it's still your favorite thing. We make dinner together nightly....sisters side by side on their individuals stools. When you get a snack you'll both sit side by side on the stools enjoying your individual apples. And then of course there is the nightly ritual of brushing teeth. Two stools crammed around a pedal sink where two girls are practicing oral hygiene. Lillian helps you with the toothpaste and turns on the water since you can't quite reach yet.

Unfortunately this month was the true start to sister jealously in our house. It's funny because I was SOOOO worried about your birth for this very reason and when Lillian took your addition into her life with ease, I thanked my lucky stars. Time passed and I guess I just let my guard down because I'm honestly shocked by the recent developments.

After your arrival we spent time teaching Lillian to share with you and to be gentle with the baby...on and on and on. She was....she IS...amazing with you. But I realize now that we forgot to teach you the same manners. You grew up and the baby isn't really a baby anymore. Instead the baby is a 28 pound toddler with the nickname of 'Turbo'. It's clear to all involved that you do NOT like to share with your sister and gentle isn't a word in your vocabulary. Instead you continue to pull hair and even grab clothing or worse....faces. In an instant I've got a girl on girl fight on my hands....you're getting physical and she's yelling "EDITH! NOOOO!!!!". It's nasty and I just don't know what to do.

I didn't live in the same house as my siblings.....there was no fighting during our weekends together (that I recall)...so this fighting thing is new to me. And I'll be honest, I'm so sickened by it that I stand frozen...not knowing what the correct response is. Do I put my nineteen month old in timeout even though she's too young to really understand? Do I comfort you instead and tell you what you did is wrong? But what about my three year old that is also upset?...she could use some comforting as well as she was the one who got her hair pulled afterall.

I often try to scoop you both up in my arms, but that's not what EITHER of you want. You want individual Mama time, but unfortunately I can't give you that....there are two of you. I've said all along that I expected some yelling, maybe a door slam or two. Even though I'd like you to be best friends, I'm completely aware that I don't make the all the rules. I just did NOT think we'd be navigating this so early, but alas it's here. Please know it isn't constant...that you are able to get along the majority of the time....but it's enough to make an impact on all of us. I have no idea how to solve it so I'll just leave it at that. Something we can continue to work on.....probably for the rest of our lives.

Love, Mama

'Don't Carpe Diem'

2012-01-19T09:20:00.000-06:00

I've got three posts started, but have't found the time to finish them unfortunately. In the meantime read this article by Glennon Melton.....

"I think parenting young children (and old ones, I've heard) is a little like climbing Mount Everest. Brave, adventurous souls try it because they've heard there's magic in the climb. They try because they believe that finishing, or even attempting the climb are impressive accomplishments. They try because during the climb, if they allow themselves to pause and lift their eyes and minds from the pain and drudgery, the views are breathtaking. They try because even though it hurts and it's hard, there are moments that make it worth the hard. These moments are so intense and unique that many people who reach the top start planning, almost immediately, to climb again. Even though any climber will tell you that most of the climb is treacherous, exhausting, killer. That they literally cried most of the way up."

A Potty Animal

2012-01-14T13:07:00.001-06:00

I'll be honest, I stopped reading child rearing books a few days BEFORE I had a premature baby. In addition to just being knocked off my rocker with THAT unexpected item, I was told by countless medical professionals that they just don't apply to premature babies. So alas, I threw them out....or rather passed them on to others. Most of them were about natural childbirth anyway and clearly that wasn't in my cards.

About nine months ago I started getting a comment here and there about my plans to potty training Lillian and again I'll be honest......I didn't have any desire at all to potty train her. I'm not sure why...it just wasn't a priority for me. I also have a MAJOR case of 'working Mama guilt'.....constantly counting up the number of hours my girls are in MY presence vs. others. I'm relentless about making sure the hours I DO spend with them are as enjoyable as possible. Quality over quantity....or at least that's what I tell myself. So the idea of stressing out about a potty was clearly NOT on my agenda. I'd rather spend our time dancing in the living room.

Thankfully the comments didn't bother me at all....I heard them, but didn't really HEAR them if you know what I mean. I didn't feel pressure.....or rather I didn't ALLOW myself...or more importantly Lillian....to feel pressure. Like I said it just wasn't a priority for some reason. I'm assuming my lack of ambition was the result of having Edith so it's not like we were going to get totally rid of diapers once Lillian was trained (seriously she's NOT a dog!). And because we use an in-home daycare provider with a handful of kids in a variety of ages, we weren't being compared to the rest of the 2-3 year old class. At Carols, Lillian is the ONLY kid in her age bracket.

Carol...our daycare provider...was actually adamant about NOT starting until she turned three. She's been a licenced provider for thirty-seven years (something she reminds us of weekly) and in her experience, she feels that if you wait until age three the process with go a lot smoother and you'll have faster results. She told me this when I asked about it a year AFTER we started sending the girls to her house so clearly even when we were interviewing providers, potty training wasn't a priority for us. At the time I was thrown back a little by her answer to my question, but in the end her stance allowed me to put it off which was really what I wanted to do anyway.

So there we were....living the good life.....when Lillian's third birthday came within reach. Carol takes the last two weeks of the year off and my Mom was staying with us that first week helping take care of the girls so we could continue to work. Since they were going to be home all week, we decided to give potty training a good college try. I had heard that it's best to go straight to big girl underwear....skipping pull-ups...and just allow accidents to happen. Accidents will teach them to understanding their body. I had also heard that a timer helps as well....a simple reminder to everyone involved that every 20-30 minutes she should try. So that was the plan.

Monday: we were all surprised that it was a complete success!
Tuesday: you guessed it, a complete failure :(
Wednesday: there wasn't even much of an effort as a trip to the zoo was planned
Thursday: failure again

So we stopped.

It was clear to all involved that she wasn't ready. She had no idea when she had to go and was surprised EVERY SINGLE TIME she went....in the potty or as an accident. Alas we thought it was best to just stop, enjoy the holidays, and try again later.

Insert Christmas and her third birthday.

Last weekend we had zero plans so J suggested we give it a try again....just the four of us at home without the distraction of relatives visiting or an exciting holiday awaiting. I was game, but I didn't want to start until Saturday morning so that was our plan. However on Friday night when we got home, Lillian declared "Mama, I have to go potty!". I honestly was thrown a bit and found myself fumbling for what to do...and more importantly where WAS the potty?!?

It's been a full week now and she hasn't looked back. I hate to even admit it because I'd hate to jinx her progress...and yet I have a a pretty strong gut feeling. It was HER idea and SHE has been leading the way. We haven't done a thing other than give high fives and hand over toilet paper....I swear.

Carol has a smidgen of "I told you so!", but I can't even give her any crap about it since her theory was spot on so far. Two weeks BEFORE her birthday she wasn't ready....and then at age 3 years, 4 days she was!?! I don't know...it seems fishy....but how can I argue against it at this point?

I will say this though....this is my first potty training experience and I'm FAR from being an expert in anything...from healthcare planning, to being a good partner to J, and especially child rearing. We're making it up as we go, following our gut, and most importantly hoping for the best. We could have easily just lucked out with this one, but luck has never been on our side before. Who knows....but we'll take it.

Note: Title stolen from this book.

She's Smart!

2012-01-13T07:51:00.000-06:00

My girlfriend Stacia sent me this yesterday.....what can I say, love at first sight!

http://jezebel.com/5871009/video-of-little-girl-getting-pissed-off-at-gender+specific-toy-colors-will-make-your-heart-swell

"Some girls like superheroes, some girls like princesses! Some boys like superheroes, some boys like princesses! So why do all the girls have to buy pink stuff and all the boys have to buy different color stuff?" - Riley

Toys

2012-01-12T07:17:00.001-06:00

Last year I read the book 'Radical Homemakers' by Shannon Hayes and although at times it was a bit over the top......we aren't quitting our jobs, selling the house in the city, and moving to Utah to live off the land anytime soon.....it was a nice reminder to live more simply. Consume less, increase self-reliance, buy locally, eat locally, rebuild our local communities, etc.

I frequent two blogs on a regular basis authored by women who do just this....of course with their own spin....and although I know I can't possibly do it all, THEY are a nice reminder to me that even though I'm not all in, I can still do some of it here and there.

I'm currently reading 'The Creative Family' by Amanda Blake Soule....another blogger turned author....and her book is more of the same. It's not mind blowing or even innovative in my opinion, but that's what Amanda does for me. She makes me nod my head and say "Well duh....oh course...I'm doing THAT already". I guess she just reassures me that I'm doing my part even though I'm often not consciously doing it. If THAT makes any sense?!?

In Chapter Two 'Gathering' she has a section called "The Best Toys" and as I was reading it last night I realized that it completely captured what I was trying to say in Pink...It's NOT Just a Color when I mentioned "....spending our money on items that we can feel good about buying for our girls....". She encourages her readers to "think about the following questions and apply them to not only the new toys coming in, but also the toys already in your home."

Is It Beautiful?
Is It Simple?
What Is It Made Of?
What Senses Does it Use?
How Is It Organized?
Is There Too Much?

In the 'What Is It Made Of?" section she says "Can you tell how a toy is made? While there is certainly room and a need for some manufactured plastic in our lives, we also need to make much more room for simple, natural materials." I applaud her for accepting some bright colored plastic, but also applaud her saying in the next breath...."I think we should consider our toy materials in the same way that people talk about whole foods: the closer to the original source, the better."

Weekend Wrap Up

2012-01-08T16:39:00.000-06:00

40 degrees in January is unheard of around these parts so we lived it UP.....

Pink...It's NOT Just a Color

2012-01-06T11:42:00.007-06:00

We're raising a couple of girls...something that never crossed our minds until we had one. We didn't find out Lillian's sex until the day she was born and I thought FOR SURE that she was a boy. Hands down, no question about it, a boy. In the end it doesn't really matter....we weren't preparing for a boy or a girl...we were just preparing to have a baby....our child together. Still, my friend Stacia likes to remind me of a conversation I had with her the day after Lillian was born. I guess I said "She's a GIRL!"...and Stacia said "I know....Congrats!"...and I responded "a GIRL....I wasn't supposed to have girls!". Oh silly me. It's been three years since the birth of my daughter and I'm now the Mama to TWO girls. Who would have thunk!?!

As you know, children don't come with an instruction manuals and we're honestly just doing the best we can on a daily basis to raise these girls of ours. Saying that though, I'll be honest that I'm worried sick about it. Good God, I hope we're doing an OK job.

I'm sure you've read the Huffington Post article by Lisa Bloom that questions how we talk to little girls....not just parents, but EVERYONE. In the article, Bloom suggests that little girls should not be told they are cute or pretty and the focus should instead be put on asking them about their interests and activities. Clearly this is a wonderful idea, but I think she takes it a bit too far....or rather makes the issue very black and white. My friend Myndi agrees.....she said growing up she was NOT constantly told how cute she was and had plenty of conversations with adults about what she was learning in school, reading, what sports and activities she'd been pursuing, etc. Any adult truly interested in a child does these things. If not, then that person probably shouldn't be spending time with your kid anyway as they just don't care. As a parent I strive to surround my children with good people....people who value their existence as much as I do.

After I had Lillian we were inundated with PINK things and I'll be honest....it was overwhelming for me. Ryan from Pacing the Panic Room wrote this post about his thoughts on the color pink and it struck a chord with me. In it he says ".....it was made very clear how I felt about dressing little baby girls in ridiculous frilly foo-foo fairy princess clothes. I flat out forbid it. I don't want it in our house, I do not want her to ever think that she is supposed to wear these things". That completely sums up my first opinion on the color pink. Add in the thought of a future Disney Princess obsession and I almost lost my lunch. Have you read the book 'Cinderella Ate My Daughter' ?

Because of my initial opinion I often get accused of having a major anti-princess, anti-pink stance and I swear to you I don't. My girls wear pink and we watch Cinderella.....PROMISE. I just don't feel that because you have a girl, you have to assume she'll only want to wear pink and play with dolls. I am fine if my girls want to do those things, I just think it should be balanced with plenty of other activities. Don't we ALL want well-rounded children?

In the end I've FINALLY realized that I'm against the marketing of the pink stuff more than I am against the actual color. I hope that makes sense. Take the new Lego's designed for girls......not only have the colors changed, but so have the kits. Instead of building skyscrapers and bridges, girls are building nail salons and dog houses! It really makes me sick and like Ryan said in his post, I'm NOT having it in my house. My girls build with the standard primary colored Duplo's on a daily basis and use their imaginations to make things.....towers, swimming pools, forts, etc.

We recently had Lillian's third birthday and it just so happens that she received two gifts that had me shaking my head.

The first gift was a Disney Princess Magical Gems Fishing Game. Now I don't know about you, but I thought one dug for diamonds rather than fish for them. So my first issue was that this game doesn't even make sense! Add on the fact that my girl actually LOVES to fish ...in a boat on an lake where she catches REAL FISH. So why in the world would someone chose to get her the Disney Gem Fishing game rather than the original Let's Go Fishing game?

The second gift was Disney Tangled Shimmer Shine Wig. Now I'm all for dressing up and role playing, but I think this is a bit much for a three year old. Instead of imaging she has long, beautiful hair she instead gets to put a wig on and BE the princess herself!?!

Again, I'm NOT anti-Disney.....and I KNOW Disney isn't the only one marketing these items. My friend Allison told me her nephew was inundated with Thomas the Train stuff this Christmas. I can't stand the idea of purchasing ALL Disney themed (or any company for that matter) clothing, toys, etc for a child just because they like a particular movie. Growing up we all loved Cinderella and The Fox and the Hound (and Robin Hood,101 Dalmatians, etc), but we didn't have Disney sheets, clothes, shoes, purses, dishes, etc. Clearly the marketing and products HAVE changed significantly since we were kids. Children today are targeted much more now by campaigns for loads of products that I don't think they were even making when I was a child.

THIS is where my ears stand alert as we're raising the girls. We want to encourage their interest in just about everything that strikes them.....we want them to be well rounded and have a variety of interests. Making everything pink or princess related doesn't achieve that end. For most of my friends it comes down to spending our money on items that we can feel good about buying for our girls....and your kids too. Quality-made, safe toys that encourage imaginative play that don't force them into one way of thinking. Toys that are marketed from particular companies like Disney are lazy and take the imagination aspect of play away from children. As my friend Myndi said....."It's the opposite of the Melissa and Doug toys!" and I totally agree.

Lillian was THRILLED with her Tangled Wig and her Disney Gem Fishing Game, but as her Mama I chose to remove them from her world as I don't think they are appropriate. I don't hold a grudge to the givers of the gifts at all....I get it.....I've walked the isles of Target ten minutes before a birthday party looking for something....ANYTHING....to buy. I know they meant no harm and as the Mama's to newborn boys, I just don't think they've even thought about this issue. But to me it's a BIG issue...thought provoking, conversation starting stuff that IS important to me...and my girls. Today it might be Disney, but in a few years it'll be that Victoria Secret PINK line which is marketed for our teenage girls. Lord help us all.....

Edith's Room Reveal

2012-01-04T07:46:00.000-06:00

The first thing I did when we got home from Christmas in Iowa was to move the play kitchen to it's final resting place in Edith's room. When J walked in he said...."It all makes sense now". I typically don't recommend decorating a room around single piece, but you can break that rule in a small kids room.

The girls have been playing non-stop with all their new gear......

And Edith's new room is officially complete......

1. It all started with the Play Kitchen.

2. Then I painted the walls pink.

3. Changed up the crib bedding and wall art.

4. Dyed a changing pad cover.

5. And added wall hooks.

6. Insert some Christmas gifts and a new rug from Ikea.

Voila! A toddler room fit just for her....and maybe her sister.

Love Letter: Month Thirty Six

2012-01-03T12:27:00.002-06:00

Dear Lillian,

Yesterday you turned three years old....THREE YEARS!! Can you believe it!?! Three years ago you made me a Mama and life as I knew it changed. While there have been plenty rough patches along the way, there have been SOOOOO many more that have made your Papa and I question whether or not life could get any fuller.

We went out to dinner on New Years Eve to one of our favorite spots and of course all we did was talk about you and your sister. We even talked to each other in YOUR voices.....repeating something ridiculous one of you has said...and then we joked about how crazy it was that we missed you since we rarely get out of the house alone anymore.

Lillian, I can't thank you enough for the joy you have brought to my life, but I also want to thank you for bringing me closer to your Papa. We're clearly in the trenches of parenthood together.....but we're also crazy in love with the same thing. He looks at me when you do something funny and that brief moment that we share together being amazed by you makes all the sacrifices worth it. Loving you has been something else that we have fallen in love over....and even more than our favorite music or the imported beer we like to drink, YOU are what we have in common.

We threw you a birthday party on January 1st and it was a wonderful celebration of your life. We started the day by making cupcakes...carrot cake with cream cheese frosting...and you helped. You dumped in measuring cup after measuring cup of ingredients into the mixer and squealed in delight when I let you turn it on. BUT when I handed you the shredded carrots, you said "NO...you don't put CARROTS in cupcakes!" I laughed uncontrollably and then you laughed as well. With some coaxing you eventually dumped them in and when the first dozen came out of the oven, you stood on your stool, nose just a bit higher than the cupcake and said, "Mmmmm, they smell good!". You then spent the next four hours asking about when you could eat one all the while Edith stood on your stool and stole one right from under our eyes. I found her sitting on the stool smashing one into her mouth and laughing. Right there is a perfect example of how different you two are.

Your party was full of smiling, laughing, dancing, present opening, eating, drinking, and toasting to our favorite three year old. We sang happy birthday as you smiled and took it all in....and then just like that you blew out your candles. There was no coaching you on like years before because at THREE years old you were an old pro. And when we sat in front of the television to watch a video montage I made for you, you and your friends sat center stage on the couch. You pointed at a pictures of yourself and said "Lillian!""....and soon your friends joined in...pointing and laughing every single time a new picture popped up. Heather said it was like a three-year old roast, but alas there isn't much negative that could be said about you. ....instead there was just comments about how beautiful you are.

Unfortunately on your actual birthday you woke up and said "I sick....I don't feel well" so we spent the day doing your typical nasal drip to your stomach, refusing to eat, and throwing up snot routine. By late afternoon it was clear that your three-year old well baby appointment with your pedestrian was really going to be a sick-baby appointment. You threw up in the car on the way there and once inside the exam room it was clear that you were wheezing badly. They checked your oxygen levels and sadly they were low. Insert a nebulizer treatment and a chest x-ray. As I carried you to the radiology room I though about your first month in the hospital and when the tech asked me if you've ever had one before I said "It's been three years, but they were routine in the NICU". As I watched you follow his directions and stand perfectly still behind the control booth glass, I did shed a tear...because three years can sometimes feel like a lifetime and other times it feels like just yesterday.

You've come a long way though from those first pictures and we couldn't be more proud of all that you've achieved already. You make us laugh daily, have a spirit to be reckoned with, are an amazing big sister, and it's clear you have a lot more in store for us. So here's to a wonderful first three years and also a lifetime of possibilities! New Years Eve has taken on a new outlook since we laid in that hospital bed together in 2008. Three days later you joined us and life couldn't be any better. Happy THIRD Birthday Miss Lillian....

Love, Mama

A Birthday Gift From Her Mama

2012-01-02T07:35:00.002-06:00

New Years Eve

2011-12-31T18:10:00.005-06:00

"It's been a tremendous year full of magic and wonder and insanity and life, of great love and laughter, tears, fucking up and bucking up and learning to open up to life's unexpected gifts. Thank you all for reading, for letting me share, for being my peeps. Looking forward to 2012 and all the crazy wonderful yet to come."

That's about right.....

And I'm off to enjoy a night with J where we'll undoubtedly talk NON-STOP about the girls....figures.

Three years ago after a rough December 2008 where I had weekly ultrasounds that resulted in my amniotic fluid going down, down, and down some more, I was admitted to the hospital. J and I laid in my hospital bed together scared to death as we watched the ball drop.

Amazing what three years will do to you. Kisses.....

Our Girls

2011-12-30T11:20:00.001-06:00

Birthday's mean Kiddie Kandids around these parts and an early January birthday means a trip just in time to give photos as Christmas gifts....because really all our family wants is pictures of these two. I can't blame them.....

Christmas Morning

2011-12-29T13:41:00.000-06:00

Melissa and Doug Play Food = Amazing Stuff!

She ripped off the paper in TINY fragments....

Edith's OWN Stool.....she was THRILLED!

The whole HAUL.....play table/chairs, backpacks, boots, harmonica, etc.

Her Play Kitchen

2011-12-28T09:03:00.001-06:00

Special thanks to Margot for taking these shots......

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T06:30:00.000-06:00

From our family to yours......

You're Invited!

2011-12-21T11:53:00.002-06:00

Hooks

2011-12-20T12:39:00.004-06:00

When friends ask me what a nursery should contain, I always tell them a dimable light.....and if you've decided to include some sort of chair in the nursery you should just go ahead and get a small side table with a dimmable light. This isn't something I knew BEFORE I had children....it just comes with expereince.....and is another plus for completing the nursery AFTER you bring your newborn home from the hospital.

Hooks at their height is the most important part of a toddler room.....in my opinion. I splurged on some expensive Pottery Barn Kids hooks for Lillian's toddler room just because I thought they were cute. Turns out they became my 'must have' item.

So naturally I bought some hooks for Edith's room make over ......

The girls and I had to be out of the house for eight hours on Saturday while the bath tub was getting resurfaced.....so we had plenty of time to shop for THE perfect hook. I landed on these from Anthropologie and thankfully they were on sale.....only $4 a pop!

Merry Christmas to ME!!

2011-12-19T11:43:00.001-06:00

I wanted my Christmas list this year to contain a single item.....the same Frye Riding Boots that were on my list last year. Except if you know anything about Frye Boots, you know they are expensive....with a capital E. And realistically there was one thing that was a tad bit more important than boots.

I'm not exactly sure when our bath tub started to peal, but it was for sure within the first year that we owned our house. After some research we realized that at some point someone....probably the owners right before we purchased....just painted the original peach cast iron tub with epoxy paint which is a huge no-no. Enter some water under the drain and BAM....the paint begins to peal.

It's been an eye sore for YEARS, but every single time we saved up the cash to get it refinisihed CORRECTLY something else in our house needed more immediate attention. We've had our fair share of plumbing issues and then there was that sewer pipe.

So this Christmas I took the Frye Boots off my list and put on the bath tub......

Before

Removal of Remaining Epoxy Paint

Just Prior to Application

Steve

After (Before Caulking)

While I'd still LOVE to get the Frye boots, I'm THRILLED with my "new" tub!

A Crafty Holiday Decoration Round 2

2011-12-17T20:05:00.001-06:00

You already saw my advent calendar, but that was just the beginning of my Christmas felt projects. Once I completed the calender with success, I set out to replicate this Land of Nod Tree Skirt as well.

Lillian and I hit up the fabric store....again. Who am I all of a sudden...Martha Stewart?

Then I decided to draw up a template in Revit....the NEW AutoCAD....because I'm THAT ~~cool~~ dorky. Once the template was plotted the execustion was a snap. We cut and we glued. End of story. Voila....

18 Month Appointment

2011-12-14T07:26:00.012-06:00

27 pounds, 5 ounces (86%)

32" tall (60%)

47.5cm head circumference (76%)

She HATES going to the doctor...clearly. Since I hurt my back J had to take her AGAIN on Monday night....so he's officially taken her the last three times. He came home saying that it went better than last time, but was still about as much fun as getting hit in the head with a wrecking ball. Hopefully I can pick up some of the slack soon.

AA's Needed

2011-12-13T08:19:00.001-06:00

We had a rough weekend...one that could have come directly out of a sitcom....and unfortunately the ending resulted in me pulling a muscle in my back. It's bad....like prescribed muscle relaxers and Vicodin bad. I'm not in a good place.

And just because that wasn't enough, we also realized yesterday morning that our dining room light....which is on a dimmer....randomly stopped working. It literally won't turn on at all and I'm assuming all three light bulbs didn't burn out at the same time. We haven't had time to replace the dimmer so we've just been eating in the dark.

This morning as I handed Lillian her english muffin she said, "I can't SEE!" and I explained AGAIN that the light was broken to which she responded....

"The light needs new batteries!!"

Oh I wish it was that simple, I really do. Then maybe I could replace the batteries in my back as well......

Love Letter: Month Eighteen

2011-12-12T04:47:00.010-06:00

Dear Edith,

This weekend you turned eighteen months old and even though we officially celebrated your Papa's 35th birthday with a party, I secretly whispered "Happy 18 Months" into your ear as we sang to him. Like usual you were the life of said party as your dancing skills have yet to be beat. It's insane really.....you've got mad skills and your shimmy is especially unstoppable! In my opinion, you either are born with that move or you aren't. For example, I was NOT born with it while you clearly were.

This month you've FINALLY started talking with real words.....Mama, Papa, Sissy, up, yes, no, juice (which you use for milk), blankie, thank you, here you go, and kitty, kitty to name a few. You still point and say "eh, eh, eh" when you want something, but your use of the English language has definitely improved and we couldn't be more thrilled. This morning you even said "peanut butter" when I handed you your morning toast. That right there is quite impressive!

Unfortunately you've started waking up in the middle of the night again and we can't seem to figure it out. Is it new teeth? A growth spurt? Have you started dreaming? Is your room too cold? Ugh....I have no idea and sadly you don't really like to be comforted. I was at my wits ends about it a couple of weeks ago, but thankfully you've turned the corner again....sleeping through the night with only a whimper from time to time.

You still are our little adventure seeker....going up and down the stairs on your own. It scares me to death, but you do NOT want a hand as you prefer to do it on your own. You also continue to run around the house with determination especially when I'm trying to get your winter coat on. It's clearly a game to you as you run away laughing at me on a daily basis.

I'm currently knee deep in a few felt Christmas projects...a tree skirt and matching stockings for you and your sister. You like to "help" me with them which means you steel my scissors when I'm not looking and run away...because running with scissors is EXACTLY what toddlers should be doing. Luckily your laugh gives you away every single time and if that didn't work you know Lillian would have tatteled on you.

We've been watching your relationship with your sister blossom and even though I have high hopes for it I also know that there will be plenty of bumps and bruises along the way. You play together well most of them time, but there is also plenty of hair pulling on your part....something I've decided you ARE doing on purpose...and tattle telling on her part. Just this weekend I told you that were were being naughty...something that gets said probably more than it should.....and Lillian jumped right in with this gem....."The Elf will tell Santa that her is naughty and she won't get a present. BUT I'm good....so I'll get one". It was hard not to laugh at her because she was being so sincere, but I think we set up ourselves for that one.

Edith, you ARE a bit naughty in your core, but that same spunk is what makes you laugh uncontrollably, wrestle the cat, smile that BIG smile of yours, attack the stairs with abandon, dance to your hearts content, and say "thank you". You are an amazing little girl full of personality and delight. You may be naughty at times, but the good outweighs the bad. Santa will surely be bringing you a present and I can't wait to see your face light up with happiness.

Love, Mama

35 Years.....

2011-12-10T20:12:00.001-06:00

Today J turns 35 years old! To celebrate the occasion I framed up one of his most prized possessions.....a star given to him on his 21st birthday. He chose to hang it up in his ~~man cave~~ music room.

Here's a closer look at the photo I included.....

I met J three months after his 21st birthday and when I look at this photo I'm instantly reminded of the man I fell for almost 14 years ago.

Today I couldn't ask for a better partner.....Happy Birthday!

Weekend Project

2011-12-05T07:13:00.002-06:00

This weekend I dyed Lillian's white changing pad cover for Edith's room overhaul.....hoping that the lack of a changing pad in Lillian's room will encourage the potty training effort on both of our parts. OK, this is a stretch.....in reality, I was just too cheap to buy another one.

I purchased Edith a new crib sheet a couple of months ago, but skipped buying the matching changing pad cover for some reason. When I went back to the store to pick it up they didn't carry it anymore. And then the unthinkable happened....I couldn't even find it online. I have no idea what happened, but somehow the Summer Infant Naturally Yours - Color: Mineral products just disappeared off the face of the earth. And since my sewing machine is useless I knew I couldn't make one.

Insert the idea to dye the existing changing pad cover.....

Unfortunately the color isn't perfect, but that teal/mineral/turquoise color....the not quite blue, not quite green color....is hard to perfect....at least in my opinion.

I heard about iDye and wanted to give it a whirl even though I KNEW the color wasn't going to be quite right. I went for the "Turquoise" and alas the end result confirms that "Turquoise" has too much blue....ho hum.

I used my washing machine and I'll admit to being quite nervous about ruining it. In the end the only thing I ruined was my own hands. I'll be headed to work with smurf hands unfortunately so if you decide to try iDye, pick up some rubber gloves.

Total cost: $3

A Crafty Holiday Decoration

2011-11-29T06:01:00.004-06:00

About a month ago I saw this advent calender in the Land of Nod catalogue. They featured many felt Christmas items......stockings, tree skirts, ornaments, etc....that were adorable, but completely overpriced. They also screamed "I could make this myself!". I mentioned the idea to a few friends and alas Erin actually did the hardest part.....she sat down and got started. And then she did the unthinkable.....she put together a 'kit of parts' so the rest of us could get started as well. That right there was genius because getting started IS the hardest part.

My 'kit of parts' arrived last week and it featured a large white sheet of felt for the 'house', the roof, pre-cut pockets, and Santa himself.....I'm totally convinced that Santa was the most time consuming part. Although the kit was awesome, you know I needed/wanted to add in a few more colors to the mix. So on Sunday morning while Lillian was hand selecting our Christmas tree, Edith and I were at the craft store picking up some more felt.

During the process I unfortunately took a u-turn. You see Erin glued her pockets to the 'house', but I decided to dig out my Mom's 1970's Sears Kenmore Model 1410 Zig Zag Sewing Machine. And then I spent an hour just trying to get that sucker up and running. Needless to say it didn't go very well....insert the glue.

Erin chose to paint on her numbers and after I got started cutting them out I quickly figured out why....number cutting is tedious and requires patience. If I would have thought ahead I would have selected a font, sized them to match the pockets, and printed the numbers to use as a template. But you know me.....I didn't think ahead.

In the end I'm happy with the results...and even more importantly Lillian is quite thrilled with her handy work....

December 1st is right around the corner so we got it finished just in the nick of time. Lillian is just starting to understand Santa and I think this calender will help with the "Is Santa coming TONIGHT?" questions we've already started to get. Here's hoping anyway.

Tree Shopping

2011-11-27T21:27:00.003-06:00

Today J and Lillian went Christmas tree shopping. We hyped it up and girlfriend was not disappointed. I grew up cutting down our own tree every year and we'll continue that tradition again once BOTH of my girls can hike the terrain well. Although I was a bit disappointed, I'm confident Lillian thought picking out a Christmas tree in a neighborhood baseball field WAS the cats meow.

J said she walked down the isles while he stood the trees up for her....letting her inspect and make her decision. She wanted a "BIG one" and he quickly figured out that meant the top branch had to be long. She also preferred the short needles and quickly landed on the most expensive in the lot.....at $50. I gave J some crap about it, but it is a gorgeous tree and what was he supposed to do.....not buy the one she picked out?

At the check out she was given a coloring book and TWO small candy canes. When they got home she had me come look at the tree on top of the Jeep and then showed me her treasures......immediately giving one of her candy canes to her sister! I told Lillian to go ahead and eat the candy cane....and she said "NO, you don't EAT it!". I laughed and told her that she could....that they were like suckers....and she slowly placed it on her tongue. Her reaction will be forever burned into my memory.....reminding me that daily experiences are still new to her. Her first hand selected Christmas tree AND candy cane...not a bad day in toddlerland!

Over the holiday we watched the movie 'Polar Express' and I think it might have blew her mind. She sat mesmerized for the entire thing and barely even blinked. At the end when I was trying to get something out of her she just said....."Can we watch it AGAIN?!?". Last night before bed, I dug out the 'Polar Express' book from my childhood.....given to me by my Dad in 1987.....and tried to relive the movie. She definitely understood the connection, but I didn't quite get the same reaction. For once I think I can say that the movie does live up to the book.....something I never even thought possible.

Anyway, we spent the day slowly, but surely putting out Christmas decorations and both of the girls had a ball. Lillian pointed out Santa Claus, Christmas trees, and candy canes while asking questions about the rest....."What's THIS?" she asked when I pulled out an elf. We haven't put out our own Christmas lights on the front bushes much less on the tree, but based on her reactions of other Christmas lights in the neighborhood, I'm confident she's not quite done having fun. Add in hanging ornaments and we've barely gotten started. I'm honestly not sure who is having more fun....her or me.

Thank-FULL

2011-11-26T21:02:00.011-06:00

Just like the year before, we spent Thanksgiving again at Naughty Pines.....

the Mehmen family cabin in Emily, MN. We ate and ate and ate some more.....

The girls can spend hours just playing in the backyard so I'm thankful that the weather was amazing....

On Friday we went again to the Ice House Parade .......and Lillian saw Santa Claus for the very first time.

As you can probably tell I forgot my camera, but alas it didn't matter. We didn't have television and that didn't matter either. Three days without technology and a north woods cabin full of family is exactly what this Mama needed. And like every year since my girls were born, I'm most thankful for them.

Weekend Wrap-Up

2011-11-20T17:39:00.001-06:00

Edith's room is slowly, but surely getting a make-over. Last weekend I painted the walls and this weekend I changed up the crib bedding and artwork. I made the crib skirt myself.....$8 total...and just tweaked a few of the colors in the canvas' that I painted for Lillian's nursery to match the new bedding.

Coco made Edith this pillow a few months ago and I'm on the look out for more of the fabric. If you have a local Hancock Fabrics please keep an eye out for it. Luckily I found a coordinating fabric for the bed skirt at my local Hancock, but they were out of the animal print unfortunately.

On Saturday we got our first snowfall. The girls and I were out running errands when it started and Lillian was quite excited......pointing and saying "Edith LOOK, it's snowing!". She woke up this morning BEGGING to go sledding so alas we took them out. Within 5 minutes J dumped them out of the sled while making a turn. Edith went face first into the snow while Lillian just got scared I think.....even though she's done this before. Needless to say there were plenty of tears and that was the end of the worlds shortest sledding excursion.

This afternoon I worked on J's 35th birthday present. I'm finally framing one of his most cherished gifts.....a star given to him on his 21st birthday. It clearly won't be a surprise, but he's still excited. I just need to go get some glass cut.....

Prematurity Awareness Day

2011-11-17T19:21:00.004-06:00

It's that time of year again.....the March for Dimes Prematurity Awareness Day. I dedicated a blog post last year and the year before to the cause because it means a lot to my family.

No matter how big or strong our Miss Lillian appears, we'll always have pictures like these to remind us of her rough start.

And when she's ten years old asking me about the day of her birth, I'm sure I'll shed a tear.....or twelve....as I try to find the right words to tell her the story.

We're now headed towards Lillian's third birthday and our time in the NICU sometimes feels like a lifetime ago....and then other times it feels like only yesterday. That month in the hospital was the hardest of my life.....one that will undoubtedly stick with me for the rest of my days.

As I navigated the March of Dimes website today looking for something to link up in this post I came across this page that attempts to tell the story of the emotional toll a family goes through after having a premature baby. It's a decent attempt, but it doesn't tell the whole story.

I know I personally don't have the skills to research the science behind prematurity nor do I have the money to donate, but I think I do have the skills to help families that are treading the same waters I once struggled with. So today I hugged my preemie a bit too tight, I thanked my lucky stars, and I volunteered my time. I hope you consider doing the same.

Living Room Dance Party

2011-11-15T18:51:00.000-06:00

We dance every night after dinner and it's become apparent that Edith has some mad skills. I don't want to ruin the ending, but I'm pretty sure you're going to want to watch the last seven seconds a few times. Enjoy!

Weekend Wrap-Up

2011-11-14T06:10:00.002-06:00

The weekend started with a quick trip to the pediatrician as Lillian unfortunately had a bad tumble. She landed on her nose and although J was convinced it was "fine".....I needed some peace of mind. Alas he was right, but I'm still glad I took her...especially since the bruising on the brow of her nose has only gotten worse.

We spent the rest of the weekend crossing items off our 'To Do' list. I finally finished painting the laundry room and J installed the remaining trim. This truly completes the basement project.

I recently decided to overhaul Edith's room. She inherited the nursery from Lillian and girlfriend deserves a room of her own. Step one.....paint.....'Wild Aster' by Benjamin Moore.

I think she likes it.......

Love Letter: Month Seventeen

2011-11-09T22:19:00.009-06:00

Dear Edith,

Today you turned seventeen months old! And although this letter is supposed to be all about YOU, I can't help but think that this was the age Lillian was when you were born. What were we thinking!?! Just kidding......you are such a gift and I'm completely certain that seventeen months is THE perfect age separation between children. Watching the two of you together confirms it on a daily basis. When Lillian says...."It's OK Edith, Sissy is here." as she reaches out to you....I immediately forgot the "EDITH!!" that was yelled earlier in the day when you knocked down her tower made of blocks.

Speaking of knocking down blocks, the last month has been a flurry of activity and you have been in the thick of it. We've even started calling you 'Turbo' because it's a perfect description of your actions. You are constantly on the go and nothing will stand in your way. You run around the house like a bull in a china shop.....pointing, talking, falling down, getting back up.....you're constantly in motion and ALWAYS laughing along the way....especially if you are up to no good.

Unfortunately you haven't added many words to your vocabulary in the last thirty days, but you are in fact talking. You even use full on sentences with capital letters and periods....we're just not quite sure what language you're using. I'm particularly found of how you turn your head and look up at me...so that your eyes are just a few inches from mine...and you look sternly into them like you want to make sure I've got your full attention. You do it so fast that often I think you are about to head butt me....something you are also pretty good at. You just get so excited that you move NOW without any regard to what may be in your way. Like I said....turbo.

We've been working on identifying body parts and your favorite is definitely your belly. I'll say "Edith, where is your belly?" and you'll pull up your shirt and pat your belly....laughing along the way. Lillian thinks is pretty funny as well and therefore she'll ask you the same thing right after you put your shirt down. It doesn't matter though because you'll happily oblige and do it again. In addition to your belly, you've mastered your head, hand, and foot. You'll often attempt to lift your foot in the air even if you are standing and it always results in you falling on your butt.....BAM! You don't care though.....you just get yourself back up without even a hint of complaining. Heck most of the time you are laughing throughout the whole process.

This past weekend we went to a fall themed party in Cedar Falls and our friend Meg taught you how to cheers with your cup. You spent most of the night walking back and forth from person to person clicking your cup against beer bottles expecting "CHEERS!" as a response. It was adorable and had the whole room laughing. Of course you ate up all the attention. Your sister was off with the other kids working on craft projects, but you'd rather be upstairs with the adults 'cheering'.

I've said it at least a half down times already in this letter, but your laugh is contagious. Your smile also lights up the room and your excitement is imposable to contain. I look at you and see your Papa's spirit.....and that makes me giddy. You may only be seventeen months younger than your sister, but we definitely don't have to worry about you hiding in her shadow. You view this life like it's a stage and you are the main attraction. Watch out world.....Edith is blazing on through.

Love, Mama

Weekend Wrap-Up

2011-11-06T15:33:00.003-06:00

The Cedar Falls Tiger beat the Cedar Rapids Washington Warriors in the Quarterfinal Round of the Iowa High School Football Tournament on Friday night. I LOVE me some football and this was a fantastic game! CF was down by 10 points in the second quarter, but rallied. Final score...CF 35, Wash 32. I'm already looking forward to the semifinal round on Friday.....just hoping my voice reemerges.

The annual Fall Feast was at the Millers on Saturday night and the tribe ALWAYS comes out for Fall Feast. You see that front row? > yeah, it makes me smile. And if you look to the right of Edith you'll see the newest member.....Daschel Calease....oh how I love him...and his Mama too.

And now it's Monday and I officially have PPD.....post party depression. Thanks for the love CF......we'll see you again on Friday :)

Play Kitchen

2011-11-02T12:41:00.003-05:00

As J suggested a year ago, I never got around to making a play kitchen for the girls. To my credit, I did post an ad on Craigslist and got a couple of quotes.....but unfortunately they were out of my price range. So when Coco suggested a play kitchen as a Christmas gift THIS year from her and Pappy, I was all in.

Once again I looked online for some pre-made play kitchens and unfortunately found the same results as last year. The ones I liked best were from Pottery Barn Kids or Land of Nod which meant they were expensive....and honestly way too big for our small house. I also still desperately wanted to put some personal touches on it as well.

And then I found the DUKTIG from Ikea. It was a size that fit our lifestyle and a fair price. I also immediately knew I could put my own spin on it especially since I'd have to put it together anyway.

So last Friday while visiting my family in Iowa Coco and I went to work in their basement at 7am. Twenty-four hours later we had this.......

We sanded, primed, and painted the natural wood 'Frog Green' by Hirshfield's Paints and added some hardware from Anthropologie.

Now I just have to hope that the girls love it as much as I do!

Schnell Family Photos

2011-11-01T06:18:00.002-05:00

Do you remember when we forgot to wear blue for the Schnell family photos?

Thankfully Photoshop covered up my mistake.....

Did you even notice J's shirt changed from green to blue?

Happy Halloween

2011-10-31T19:31:00.000-05:00

Lillian had a ball trick or treating in her spider princess costume.....a costume that she requested and that Coco graciously made for her.

Edith on the other hand wanted nothing to do with anything other than the candy. You'll have to trust me when I say she was an adorable skeleton....I just couldn't get any pictures of her since she refused to unhook her legs from my waist.

Carving Pumpkins

2011-10-30T17:54:00.000-05:00

Their Grandmother

2011-10-26T06:47:00.000-05:00

J's mother passed away in February 2002 and although there are many things I wish she could have seen, our children are at the top of the list. I've said before that Edith looks like her Papa, BUT what I really believe is that she's the splitting image of Sharon.

I've tried my best to track down pictures of Sharon as a child, but have unfortunately come up short.....until recently. Last week J found a small locket that housed two pictures of his Mom....pictures that absolutely confirm what I've said since day one.

Breathtaking......

Pumpkin Farm

2011-10-23T15:14:00.001-05:00

Just like last year, we headed to Pinehaven Farm for some fall fun today. And just like last year, we had a ball.

Lillian REALLY enjoyed herself and her extra boost of excitment was clearly the result of just being another year older. When we rested for a quick snack we talked about how this type of adventure will only get better and better as our girls get older.

And then our conversation drifted AGAIN to Mehmen Farms and how much fun this sort of business would be. Who knows, maybe one year we'll actually do it.

I Do This Daily

2011-10-18T12:20:00.005-05:00

Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities
no doubt have crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day;
begin it well and serenely
and with too high a spirit
to be cumbered with
your old nonsense.

This day is all that is
good and fair.
It is too dear,
with its hopes and invitations
to waste a moment on yesterdays.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Love Letter: Month Thirty-Three

2011-10-14T12:05:00.002-05:00

Dear Lillian,

Twelve days ago......on our way to our first family of four vacation in Estes Park, Colorado.....you turned thirty-three months old. Although I haven't taken the time to write your quarterly love letter until now, please know that as I was driving through Nebraska at 3:30am I looked over my shoulder at you sleeping in your car seat and remembered.....and then I looked at the moon and thanked my lucky stars.

In Colorado you fell in love with feeding the chipmunks and looking for the "Papa" elk in Rocky Mountain National Park. We hiked, took in the beautiful fall scenery, and just enjoyed being somewhere other than home. It was our first stop in what we hope is a lifetime of showing you the world.

Halloween is fast approaching and just this week you learned to draw a spider at school. You asked to color after dinner and as I was getting Edith ready for her bath you said, "Mama LOOK, a spider!". I came running because I thought you meant a REAL spider and when I asked "Where?", you pointed at your paper and said "Right HERE!". Sure enough, there was an bean shape drawn in one color and multiple spider legs drawn in another. You've since been drawing them all week and when I asked you yesterday what you wanted to dress up as for Halloween you said "a bug!". When I pressed you on what type of bug you of course said "a spider!". I then made a junior Mama mistake and suggested some 'prettier' bugs....a lady bug, a bumble bee, a butterfly..."NO! a SPIDER!" you said. Clearly you have your own opinions now and I immediately felt foolish for even suggesting something different.

When looking back on the last three months I think the biggest event has been watching your relationship with Edith blossom. She recently started walking and talking......BIG events in her own life...and you have been cheering her on, engaging her, and encouraging her the whole time. I watch you two together and my heart swells.....your bond is exactly what I had hoped it would be.

You LOVE coaxing her into chasing you...."Edith, come and get me!" you say as you dart across the room. You both enjoy taking baths together.....you shampoo her hair while she splashes the water. You both laugh and laugh like it's the first time every single night. Speaking of your laughter, it is my favorite thing....hands down.

Obviously it's not all roses all the time......you also like to tattle tell ...."Mama, look at HER!"....and some days there is more crying than laughter....."Edith NO!"...."MAAAMMMAA, she pulled my hair!" but overall watching you interact with your little sister blows my mind. You hand her animal crackers in the back seat, make sure her hood is on her head when we play in the backyard after dinner, and kiss her goodnight before she goes to sleep. She is the first thing you ask about in the morning and as we go into your room to read before bed, you always turn to me, put your fingers on your lips, and say "Shhhh, Edith is sleeping."

Miss Lillian, you are smart, funny, opinionated, outgoing, and even though you are a bit bossy, you are an amazing big sister....that I know for sure. You brighten our day with your presence, make us laugh with your words, and embrace us with your hugs. Your smile is contagious, your golden curls are envious, and your heart is big. We are the lucky ones.

Love, Mama

Thanks to Hail Damage

2011-10-12T19:15:00.000-05:00

Due to a mid-day rain delay it was almost dark when they finished. I'll have to snap an 'after' picture tomorrow......

Love Letter: Month Sixteen

2011-10-09T14:43:00.001-05:00

Dear Edith,

Today is your sixteen month birthday and to celebrate you chased your sister across the living room. Yep, you FINALLY decided to walk last month and literally haven't stopped since you started. 'Off to the races' is a good description as life as you know it has changed. I'm proud to say that you've completely embraced your independence and the rest of us are loving watching you explore this world on your own.

Chasing your sister is a favorite activity for BOTH of you. Lillian runs and says "Edith, come and get me!"....and then you chase after her laughing. She's obviously faster than you, but clearly enjoys getting caught. One thing she doesn't like though is when you run off with her stuff.....especially her kitty pillow. It's amazing to watch you scheme.....you see her pillow not being attended to, walk over and pick it up, laugh, and when she notices what you have she says "Edith NO!". Those words do not instill any fear however. Instead you laugh and take off.....usually tripping over the said kitty pillow, but you don't care. You've already gotten under her skin which was the point in the first place I think.

Watching you interact with each other is truly my favorite thing in the world. If I thought hearing one child of mine laughing was bliss then obviously hearing both of you laugh together is off the charts. I'm sure I'll change my tune when the laughing turns to fighting, but right now I'm enjoying watching your relationship blossom.

In addition to walking, you started talking last week. We were honestly getting nervous as your only true word continued to be "Ut oh", but we kept reminding ourselves that we knew you understood. And then BAM.....we got "yes" and "no" in the same day. In the midst of celebrating the "yes" and asking you to say it again, Lillian jumped on the bandwagon and said "Edith say yes!"....and you responded with a stern shake of your head to the left and then the right as you said "NOOO!". I don't think I've laughed harder before in my life. Both words have been used repeatedly ever since as well as "Mama", "Papa", and "ball". I'm confident more words will come as the fall days pass us by.

And just like that you became a toddler.....walking and talking. I couldn't be more proud!

We spent last week in Colorado on our first vacation as a family of four. Your Papa and I haven't traveled since I was pregnant with Lillian, but I guess we've been a bit busy since her birth. Last week we enjoyed exploring Estes Park, Grand Lake, and Boulder. We took in the fall scenery of Rocky Mountain National Park, looked for animals, hiked, and just enjoyed being somewhere other than Minnesota or Iowa. It was a successful trip and we look forward to a future full of family excursions.

After a week in Colorado we came home to unusually warm temperatures in Minneapolis. Even though I was exhausted from the 15 hour drive home I couldn't say no to Lillian's request to head to the park yesterday morning. It was the third or fourth trip since you started walking and each and every time I'm blown away by your ambition.....yesterday was no exception. I remember watching Lillian slowly, but surely take on the park last summer.....celebrating in delight at the end of the summer when she finally seemed comfortable. But you are the polar opposite.....you aren't scared of anything and actually seem to seek out adventure. You are already climbing the equipment like a pro and that includes climbing the slide....a big no-no in the parenting circles, but whatever.....I like to break the rules as well.

Edith, this month has been exciting.....full of firsts. You've literally jammed three months worth of growing and development into 30 days. I just realized I even forgot to mention that fact that you got in your upper and lower right molars this month as well. I guess those two teeth just aren't nearly as exciting as walking and talking.....not much is actually. It's been a down right ball watching you become more and more independent. You've literally unhooked your legs from around my waist and have waved goodbye. My baby isn't a baby any more.....ho hum.

Love, Mama

Our Fair City

2011-10-08T22:22:00.002-05:00

Estes Park

2011-10-07T12:35:00.000-05:00

Gem Lake and Black Canyon

2011-10-06T21:26:00.005-05:00

Grand Lake, Colorado

2011-10-05T08:11:00.000-05:00

Rest in Peace

2011-09-30T06:55:00.002-05:00

Samuel Charles Inks
June 10, 1949 - September 30, 2011

with Lillian; December 2009

Saturday Evening at the Park

2011-09-25T02:33:00.000-05:00

Edith FINALLY realized that this walking thing opened up a whole new set of possibilities......

and Lillian had fun showing her the ropes.

Saving the Morning

2011-09-22T12:28:00.003-05:00

Lillian isn't a morning person....something she totally inherated from J.....so getting her out of bed during the week is difficult. The change in seasons hasn't helped since it's still dark outside when we start the process at 6:45am. Monday thru Wednesday of this week were darn right brutal...so brtual that I don't even want to create the scene again on this here blog.

But then yesterday at school, they made homemade strawberry jam. I don't even know how one makes homemade jam, but alas my todler came home with a Ball plastic twist top container full of jam she said she made. Unfortunately I wasn't the one who picked her up from school yesterday and alas J didn't ask any questions. Me, I've got a few questions that I will be asking tonight at pick-up......

1. How did they make it?
2. What exactly did Lillian help with?
3. How in the world did Carol oversea four toddlers making jam while also caring for Edith and a six month old named Louis? I swear she is superwoman.

So as I got Edith settled with her breakfast this morning...a banana and an English muffin topped with Lillian's homemade jam....a brilliant idea snapped into my head.

Mama: "Lillian, don't you want to get up, get dressed, and try out your strawberry jam on a muffin?"

And BAM! just like that she was up.....

Lillian: "I'm AWAKE!!!" she said as she threw off her covers.

She didn't whine, or cry, or kick her legs. She was dressed in record time. Her hair was brushed without a single complaint. All becasue of strawberry jam!?!

It worked like a charm....but will it work tomorrow? That is the REAL question.

Life Marches On

2011-09-20T19:53:00.000-05:00

Praying for Peace

2011-09-13T23:16:00.006-05:00

My Uncle Sam was my everything as a kid. I don't have siblings on my Mom's side.....or cousins....or even grandparents for that matter. BUT I have my beloved uncle....a lone wolf with a big kid heart. He bought me toys he wanted to play with....train sets and race cars.....but I didn't care. All I wanted was someone to play with and he happily obliged. He built me a tree house, taught me how to water ski and downhill snow ski, took me fishing, and rode the rides with me at Disneyland. He ordered pie before lunch, drank Coca Cola, never let me win at thumb wars, and tickled me until I peed my pants. He called me his pumpkin....hell he STILL calls me his pumpkin.

My Uncle Sam has had a rough go at this thing we call life during the last ten years......a spinal cord injury that brought him constant pain and now cancer. The last two weeks have been especially hard and although I can't say for certain how his story is going to end, I don't think it's going to be filled with wine and roses unfortunately.

My Uncle Sam loved life more than anyone I knew...or at least it seemed that way to my 7 year old self. And he loved me.....that I knew for sure.

When my daughter Lillian was born prematurely most didn't know what to say or do. When my Uncle Sam heard the news he got in his pick-up truck and drove four hours to meet her. For the record, that is exactly the thing to do. He did the same when Edith was born.

Tonight I pray for peace for my Uncle Sam. I can't imagine knowing that the end is near and then suffering to get there. It just isn't right in my opinion, but I guess I don't make the rules. I'm not sure what to do.....How do you tell someone that you love them...that they made a difference....that you'll never forget? I guess I'll just follow his example......pack my family into the Jeep and drive four hours to be with him. It's simple really...and yet I wish I could do more.

Love Letter: Month Fifteen

2011-09-11T21:33:00.010-05:00

Dear Edith,

Friday was your fifteenth month birthday and that unfortunately meant another trip to the pediatrician office for a round of vaccinations. Your Papa took you and he said you were not pleased. You dislike everything that has do to with the pediatrician office....from being weighed (24 pounds, 10 ounces), to getting measured (30"...which can't be right as you surely must have grown in the last three months), and alas the deadly thermometer underneath your armpit routine to take your temperature (98.8 degrees). Papa said you managed to throw a full on fit BEFORE the word "shot" was even mentioned. We had a few concerns to ask your doctor as you are developing quite differently from Lillian. Obviously all children are different, but since we only have two, your older sister is the only reference we have.

You still are not walking on your own and that was something we were worried about. You continue to stand on your own, walk with assistance, climb stairs, and crawl with a vengeance.....BUT you just haven't taken that first step on your own. Thankfully your pediatrician wasn't worried in the slightest. She said it sounds like you are right on the cusp and that she expects you to make the turn soon. We of course have thought that for the last two months, but alas I think she might be correct.....maybe.

We were also concerned about your lack of actual words. You talk all day long, but it's baby babble.....a bunch of "goo, goo, ga, GA!" and "da DAT!". The closest thing you have to an actual word is "ut OH!" which you do use correctly so your pediatrician said it counts. Again she wasn't worried, praising you on your pointing ability, the fact that you clap and wave, as well as your ability to recognise your name.

This month you got two molars......your bottom left followed by your top left. It looks like your right molars are coming in right behind them as your gums are quite swollen. I'm hoping that it is your teeth that are causing you to be more of a Mama's girl than usual. You flat out refuse to sit by yourself and prefer my lap over anyone else's. I actually think I'm catering to your desires rather than your needs and wonder if that is part of the "problem".

We had a lot of fun as a family recently and have been lucky enough to spend time with our extended families as well. You ate your first cookie at the Minnesota State Fair with Aunt Janice, Grammy, and Grandpa. You also swam in a pool at a hotel in Des Moines with the entire Schnell crew. You Papa and I also took you and your sister to the college campus where we met at and although I know you won't remember it and I'm sure you'll roll your eyes at any future visits, just know that your parents enjoyed themselves immensely.

Since it's September, fall is in the air in Minnesota which means college football, late night fires in the backyard, last hurrahs at the park, and anything that can be done to squeeze that last bit of summer out of this state before winter creeps in. Today we took a monsterous bike ride across the city.....one in which you and your sister fell asleep during at separate times. I kept asking your Papa where we were headed as he made another unexpected turn and he said "Remember it's not the destination, but the journey". I'd say that pretty much sums up our entire life little lady. We're clearly enjoying the ride and can only hope that you are as well.

Love, Mama

Where I Admit a Mistake

2011-09-08T05:57:00.009-05:00

I'm fully aware of my flaws and sadly the list has grown with the addition of my children. I used to pay attention to the details, but now I'm just trying to get out of the house on time to catch my bus. The details are long gone in that process as it's more of a survival of the fittest type of event. I often forget my lunch on the countertop or have to run back inside to find a dropped toddler shoe, but darn it.....we made it out of the house!

Our trip to Des Moines last weekend had one key ingredient....a family photo....taken by an actual photographer....one that my grandparents were paying. Oh the pressure!

The time of said photo was at 1pm on Sunday and alas I started stressing about it at 10am. I desperately wanted both girls to take a nap before the photoshoot so that they would be well rested and smiling. Of course Lillian was on day three of swimming in the hotel pool and at 11am I was trying to make plan #456 for how to actually get her out of the pool, showered, and down for a nap. I knew Edith was going to be easy, but alas she needs total darkness and quiet to sleep. Since we had one hotel room, I needed to get Lillian out of the way so Edith could lay down in peace. Easier said than done, BUT we made it. By 11:30am Edith was in her crib in our room and Lillian was laying down in Pappy and Coco's room watching a movie on her DVD player. I had hoped that Lillian would fall asleep, but alas that darn Scobby Doo held her attention.

By 12:45am, Edith was up and Lillian was glossy eyed BUT we needed to rally. We were to meet everyone in the lobby at 1pm and alas I think we were actually going to make it. However the wind was out of my sails and I knew we were in trouble the second I walked out of our room. Everyone.....and I mean EVERYONE....was wearing a shade of blue....except of course us.

BLUE!! Did I miss the memo? Clearly.

My family was not in blue at all....AT ALL. J was wearing a light green shirt and the girls were in floral dresses. I had on grey which is sort of blue, but clearly not. DOH!!!

No one said a word to us, but as we left the building and headed to the five cars that would be caravaning to the park where said photo was to be taken, all I could think about was that I've royally messed this up. But what's a Mama to do?

Well THIS Mama makes jokes.....because we might as well laugh instead of cry. Once all four of us were securely in our car, I casually said..."I wonder why everyone seems a bit blue today?". And that started the next 20 minutes of blue jokes. J was making up blue songs set to country music. Soon we were both laughing so hard that we were crying.....literally tears down my husbands face which rarely happens. Add in the fact that leader of the five vehicle caravan had no idea where we were going so there were a couple of u-turns, trips around the block, and looks of confusion as windows were rolled down to ask for directions. The whole thing was a scene out of a sitcom....possibly 'Modern Family' in particular.

Of course in the mess of u-turns, Lillian took it upon herself to FINALLY fall asleep in the car so once we actually got to the destination and everyone was ready to get their smile on, my daughter was sound asleep on her Papa's shoulder. We tried to wake her up as gently as possible, but my girl doesn't really LIKE to wake up. Bottom line, she's a grump for the first 10-15 minutes. There was no amount of funny faces, high pitched calls of her name, or promises of ice cream to make that girl smile. She wasn't having it...end of story.

Miss Edith had her own issues as she didn't want to sit by herself or with anyone other than me for a photo. There were plans of a photo with the three great-grandchildren, but alas Edith just would not cooperate. I even tried hiding behind a tree because usually if she realizes I'm not coming back, she'll settle down, but NOPE....not this time. Figures....but she IS a Mama's girl after all.

I've already written apology letters to my step-mom and grandmother....letters I hope they receive before reading this blog. I really do feel badly and sure enough, right there in my inbox, was the e-mail sent regarding the trip. And in it were the words...."We ask that everyone wear light or medium blue (plain/flowered/patterned) on the top or a dress with those colors". That's about as black and white as it can get...and yet I missed it....I completely missed it! Ho hum.....

Again, what's a Mama to do? Well this Mama continues to make jokes. It's been a few days and yet the blue jokes/songs are still ever present in our household. J sent me an e-mail on Tuesday morning with a picture of a guy wearing a Hawaiian shirt to a formal party and the subject line read "One of these is not like the other". That about sums it up. I just hope that in a few years we all can look at the Schnell 60th Anniversary Family Photo and laugh. It really is a wonderful milestone....one surely to be celebrated. Alas I just hope my family didn't ruin it.

Revisiting the Past

2011-09-05T17:16:00.000-05:00

We spent the Labor Day weekend in Des Moines celebrating my grandparents 60th wedding anniversary. Since we were driving right by we stopped off in Ames on Friday afternoon to visit our old stomping grounds for the first time in six years. We ate lunch at one of our favorite spots, walked all over campus, hit up the apartments we once called home, reminisced, and basically just thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.

Campanile

Lake Laverne

Campus Town

Of course on Saturday morning the whole family dressed in black and gold to cheer on our beloved Hawkeyes. We may have gotten our college degrees from Iowa State, but when it comes to football we're sticking with the team we grew up on.

State Fair 2011

2011-08-30T19:00:00.001-05:00

It's that time again......The Great Minnesota Get Together! This year was more of the same except we had Aunt Janice, Grammy, and Grandpa in toe as well as they had tickets to a show at the grandstand last night. A good time was had by all......until Edith had a breakdown. Girlfriend had the thrill of her life with a Sweet Martha's Cookie and then crashed hard.

Lillian pets a Lamb

Edith eats her first Sweet Martha Cookie

J takes Lillian down the Grain Sack Slide

Edith and Mama take a Bottle and Beer Break

Yearly shot with THE pumpkin

and THE sign....

Corn on the Cob

Redo

2011-08-26T06:58:00.002-05:00

Do you ever have a week you wish you could just redo? THIS is one of those weeks for us.

The girls got sick and then they got us sick. Our daycare provider was already taking today and Monday off so in addition to the PTO (paid time off) we had to take to cover those days, we ALSO had to take more to cover being home with sick girls. Needless to say not much work at the office got done this week. No big deal if there wasn't deadlines on the horizon. I just can't NOT work.....so now I've got to play catch up.....everywhere. Home AND office. It's obviously not our first rodeo show, but dang it.....it still ~~sucks~~ is unpleasant.

BUT there is a silver lining.....

Sick children equal the opportunity to rock them to sleep again. Sure we were covered in puke on Monday night, but I rocked my 2.5 year old because she asked. I rubbed her back and felt her breath on my shoulder as she breathed in an out through her mouth....her head on my shoulder. My Miss Edith is a Mama's girl, but she's not really a snuggler. She likes me close, but isn't much of a rocker....until she's sick. So I also rocked her in the rocking chair my Mama rocked me in this week. I gazed into her eyes, gently rubbed her forehead, and held her close.

I'll catch up....I always do

Weekend Wrap Up

2011-08-21T19:44:00.001-05:00

We spent a much needed weekend at home getting caught up, checking items off the home improvement list, and enjoying the beautiful weather in our own backyard.

The girls literally spent an hour entertaining themselves with this "buy a car seat, get a free umbrella stroller" from Babies R Us......

I made my favorite summer of 2011 salad.....edamame, corn, red pepper, green onion, red onion, parsley, lemon juice, Dijon mustard, olive oil, salt, and pepper.

We ate outside all three nights.....

My brother came by for dinner tonight.....we closed up shop listening to Greg Brown and eating watermelon. A perfect ending......

Thanks Steve!

2011-08-16T11:58:00.003-05:00

I bought a MacBook on December 22, 2008.......a week before being admitted to the hospital and 10 days before Lillian's unexpected birth. We hadn't had a home computer in years and I'll be honest.....the idea of a maternity leave in late February without Internet access at home frightened me. So alas we splurged...buying our first Mac, iPod, and subsequent AppleCare Protection Plan (warranty) as a joint Christmas present.

All had been going swimmingly well until a month ago when the power cord stopped working. I took it into the Apple Store and as I was handed a new power cord covered by AppleCare, I got a lecture about pulling the cord out of the wall/computer gently, not with the actual cord itself, and by no means was I to twist/kink the cord. I had Edith on my hip during said lecture and let's just say Edith probably needed it more than I did.....girlfriend LOVES power cords.

Fast forward to last Sunday night and Lillian was watching Bambi on the "puter" at the dining room table as I was desperately trying to get the dinner dishes washed. After I got the counter cleared, I went out to the dining room and asked her if she was ready for bed. She said yes and just as I went to close down the computer I noticed water spilled on the keyboard.

WATER!!!

I went into action trying to get it cleaned up all the while asking Lillian what happened. She was visibly upset....probably because she could sense my frustration...and just kept saying....."I not do it again Mama."...."I not do it again!".

Needless to say last night after pick-up I put Edith on my left hip, threw my MacBook in a bag over the other shoulder, and held my eldest hand as I introduced her to the Apple Store. When we walked in Lillian said "Puters!".....and then she stretched out her arm, pointer finger extended, and in an array across the store pointed at random computers as she said....."nother one, nother one, nother one!"....and then finally stopping at THE biggest monitor saying...."WOW, Mama look.....a BIG one!". My girl was clearly in "puter" heaven.

When my name was called all three of us bellied up to the Genius Bar and as I took my MacBook out of the bag, the technician asked what we were going to be looking at. I told him that the mouse and keyboard were not working due to water damage. He looked me square in the eye and asked "Do you know how the water damage occurred?".

I wanted to say....."Dude, have you seen the scene in front of you?". I've got a 14 month old on my hip and a 2.5 year old mesmerized by all the screens in this place. How do you think the water damage occurred? Instead, I smiled as nicely as I could and didn't say a word. He clearly got my drift and took it into the backroom. After a few minutes he came out and told me that I had corrosion on the keyboard and trackpad connectors.

Before he even finished the sentance I went straight to the point and asked him how much it would cost to fix.

He said "You know AppleCare doesn't cover accidental damage?".....to which I responded "I assumed.". And then he told me they would have to send it out, it would take a week to repair, and it would cost $750.

Whah, whah, whhhhaaaaaahhhhhh.

And in a scene NOT scripted by Hollywood Lillian turned her head, looked up at me, and said right on cue....."I not do it again Mama." I couldn't help but smile....and neither could the technician.

Bottom line, he offered to cover the cost of the repair as a one time exception and then reminded me that I have 242 days left of my AppleCare coverage......coverage that doesn't cover accidental damage.

I told him I knew....and then gave him a high five. I'm convinced they do this on a daily basis much like maternity wards across the nation are giving spa day gift certificates to new mothers. If you hook the Mama, you'll undoubtedly hook the whole family. I'm keenly aware that he knew my two rug rats sitting in front of him are probably future Apple customers.....customers who are already getting hooked based solely on the fact that their overextended Mama lets them watch Bambi in order to get the dishes done.

In the end he sold me an external hard drive....something that I probably should have bought on December 22, 2008. I also made another appointment to drop it back off tonight...."Same time, same place tomorrow?" he asked.

And so I've got another date to take my girls back to the mall. He doesn't know it, but we'll probably ride the escalator four times AGAIN tonight because "puters" aren't the only thing my girl discovered that she likes at her first trip to the mall yesterday.

Weekend Wrap Up

2011-08-15T15:59:00.006-05:00

On Friday night we went to a backyard birthday party....where we were the first guests to arrive and the first guests to leave. We also were the only guests with kids in tow.

On Saturday we went up to the cabin. J helped his brother split wood for the winter......

And Lillian helped me stack it.....

She even put some in her wagon and pulled it across the "yard" just to unload it. Don't worry.....she didn't work too hard though because there was a lot of this as well.

Yesterday the four of us went fishing, but because I complained about my $100 point and shoot camera on the Internet, it decided to stop working in the middle of the lake. "Batteries exhausted" was the official excuse, but I think it really was flipping me the bird for my unkind words on Friday. You'll just have to take my word that Lillian caught some of the biggest sunfish and bluegills this Mama has ever seen....and I'm not exaggerating just because it was my daughter who was reeling them in......I promise. Edith had a ball as well and it's missing out on pictures of her that really upset me. It's amazing what three months will do to a child in terms of development. The last time we went fishing up north she slept in her infant car seat the whole time, but yesterday she was all over the place. Squealing in delight every time a fish was caught, pointing at the loons, throwing her hands in the air, and standing. She must have decided the boat was THE best place to practice her walking.....I almost had a heart attack a few times. She forced me to triple check her life preserver to make sure it was tight. I remember my unlce doing the smae thing to me as a child....he'd tighten it so tight I could barely breath. Yesterday I understood why.

Cruising the Mississippi

2011-08-12T11:58:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I took a three hour boat cruise down the Mississippi. I was raised on the river and did my fair share of stupid things on said river in my youth...things that should not have been done....I realize this now that I'm a mother. Anyway, when we head up north to the family cabin we cross it a few times and I remember being shocked at how small it was. This can't be the MIGHT Mississippi!.....it's a completely different river than the one I grew up on. And really, even the portion in Minneapolis is quite different....except for the falls. I've seen boats use the lock via the Stone Arch Bridge before, but was pretty excited to actually be on a boat in the lock myself. Needless to say, it was a nice afternoon.

Note, before yesterday I've always told myself that it wasn't a camera that produced good shots....that it was the person behind the camera. I don't have mad photography skills at all and used this rational when feeling sorry for myself and my $100 point and shoot camera. But behold the results when using a something a bit nicer. I now know what's on my Christmas list.

On Sleep

2011-08-11T11:48:00.002-05:00

I woke up at 2am this morning thinking about this project. It's two weeks out from completion and we've had a couple stressful days this week. Yesterday I talked to a city inspector on the phone before 9am, called my mechanical engineer on her vacation TWICE, and either e-mailed or talked to the site superintendent at least six times......all over penetrations through a fire barrier. This is NOT the exciting part of the job.

At 2am when I was desperately trying to turn my brain off I started to think about being awake in the middle of the night.....how many times I've done it in my life and the circumstances behind it. In my youth I'd stress out about the first day of school or a big test. In college I pulled many an all-nighter typically finishing up a model for a studio project. I also may....or may not...have been up all night a time or two having far too much fun.

Since having my children my job typically occupies my brain between the hours of 8am and 4pm....end of story. I just don't have the same passion for it I once did....which isn't to say that I don't care or don't work hard. I do....between the hours of 8am and 4pm Monday thru Friday. Sure I've put some longer hours in during the last 2.5 years, but not nearly to the extent that I once did. I'm clearly on the "other side"......a part of the club that has to pick up the kids from daycare before the provider starts charging by the minute. My weekends include making pancakes, going to the park, and building structures out of legos. Birthday parties occur mid-day and are stocked with balloons and juice boxes rather than a late night at a bar....which isn't to say there isn't adult beverages iinvolved because there most definitely is. Really, I wouldn't have it any other way.

The shift in perspective has stopped the middle of the night wake-up calls associated with designing a detail at 2am, sending middle of the night e-mails, or sketching on my bed side stand unless absolutely necessary. So I may not have been up because of work, BUT I've for sure been up.

For the last three years I've been up during the night at least once.....to go to the bathroom or to eat while pregnant both times OR to feed children, change diapers, rock them to sleep, etc. Like all things in life that need to be taken care of, you just do it. You figure out how to live on little sleep. You find yourself actually enjoying the quiet of the house in the middle of the night as you rock a baby by the light of your front porch lantern or the Christmas tree. It becomes the norm and you can't remember life before it.

And then your kids get a bit older, their sleeping patterns get more consistent, and you find yourself getting the recommended number of hours of sleep again. And you know what....life IS actually a better with good sleep. Edith just started sleeping through the night three months ago. And Lillian, who once used to be up three times a night, has slowly started to sleep much better. I'm for sure not out of the woods completely, but it's much better.....MUCH.

All of that is to say.....I can NOT be awake thinking about work at 2am. Doesn't the sleep fairy know I need to be sleeping when my children are? I have no idea how long I was up....long enough to get out of bed, hit up the bathroom, and get on my MacBook. And sure enough the second I headed back to bed.....my head almost touching my pillow.....I heard Lillian say "Mama?"....."MaMA?"...."MAAAAMMMMAAAA!". I'm up, I'm up I thought. "WHAAAAATTT?" is exactly what I desperatly wanted to scream in response, but instead I went to her bed, tucked her back in, and kissed her forehead. She reached out to hold my hand and I obliged.

Her hand won't be that small for long....this I'm sure of.....and tonight is a new night with eight full hours of potential sleep to be had.

Love Letter: Month Fourteen

2011-08-09T12:47:00.004-05:00

Dear Edith,

Today is your fourteen month birthday and this morning as you REFUSED to do anything but ride on my hip as I navigated the morning routine, I thought about how I literally haven't put you down for FOURTEEN months. It feels like a lifetime even though it obvisouly isn't.

I'm convinced that you aren't walking yet because you'd rather just be attached to my body. I know you are capable of it....you pull yourself up, walk with assistance, and J said you took three steps on your own when I was out of the house Sunday night. I think the key words in that sentence are "I was out of the house". You see, if I'm at home you are on my hip. End of story. It's been that way since day one and although you are my last baby, I love you dearly, and I'm desperately trying to savor it all, I sometimes could use a break. Aaahhhh, I hate to even admit that to you.

While thinking about it this morning on the bus, I decided that for the last fourteen months I've been on 'Plant Edith'. You clearly won't understand this now, but sometimes in this life of ours we won't realize how tired we were until we get a solid, heavy sleep. Or sometimes we don't get how out of shape we were until we feel our body shift and settle into a stronger place? I don't think I've noticed that my axis has tipped to accommodate a new pull....until today.

You've clearly curled your body into mine.... your legs holding tight around my waist, your right hand always resting on my left tricep. When you started crawling I saw your back for the first time and I was amazed that you crawled away from me.....but not too far as you always like to know where I am. I said then that you could crawl before you actually did and I know that same holds true for walking. It's OK, you'll do it on your own terms like you do everything.

This month in addition to almost walking, you've continued to babble up a storm, point, laugh, clap, and squeal. You're eating food with utensils, drinking milk out of a sippy cup, and stealing toys away from your sister. You're wrestling the cats, reading books, playing blocks, and attempting to type on my MacBook while sitting on my lap. You never let a piece of food go to waste and would rather have your own ice cream instead of sharing with Lillian. I had to take you to the pediatrician over the weekend for a bug bite that swelled your right eye shut, but you didn't seem to mind. I wasn't surprised at all when we weighed you and the scale said 24 pounds, 5 ounces.....my hip is clearly used to you by now.

We've recently started bike riding together as a family....you riding in a buggy with Lillian behind Papa's bike. You like to hear your voice fluctuate with the bumps in the road and therefore are always just humming away on our journeys. Not wanting to be left out, Lillian typically does it as well......two girls humming in the baby buggy behind their Papa. She also likes to repeat your words/sounds......"Edith says 'Da DAT!"....and in response you'll say it again...."Da DAT!".... and then you'll both laugh like it's the funniest thing you've ever heard. Last night you fell asleep in the baby buggy and were resting your head on your sisters shoulder. When we noticed that you dosed off, Papa asked Lillian to put her arm around you so you could lean into her body and rest. She happily obeyed and it may have been the most adorable thing I've ever seen.

Miss Edith, you are such a delight and I'm confident that sometime in the near future I'll be quite sad that you no longer desire to ride on my hip anymore. That's the thing with children....you blink and they're all grown up. Take your time....and know that my hip will be here whenever you need it.

Love, Mama

Ladies Night

2011-08-07T23:05:00.000-05:00

I just got home from seeing The Head and the Heart at the Varsity Theater! You may remember that the whole family saw them recently at Electric Fetus. I was thrilled to see that the opener was Lucy Michelle who we saw at the Dakota Jazz Fest last summer as well. Needless to say it was a fabulous night out on the town for this Mama.....oh how I love live music!

Weekend Wrap Up

2011-08-07T15:32:00.002-05:00

On Friday night the girls and I walked up to St. Anthony Parkway to sit curbside for the Village Fest Parade. Fire trucks, clowns, marching bands, and candy oh my!

On Saturday we made our way out to the suburbs to see how they do up the block party. Let's just say they go all out.....renting a HUGE bounce house and dunk tank for the kids. It was fun to see how the other side does it.

Today we finally did something that is two years in the making......all four of us went on a bike ride together! Before Lillian we spent most of our time on the motorcycle rather than our bicycles so the summer after she was born we took our bicycles into the shop and got a much needed tune up. I even splurged and got myself a Mama seat and new grips. Unfortunately we never got around to buying a baby buggy though. Insert last summer.....Edith was a newborn and it clearly wasn't safe for her to ride along. This summer we were all set....especially after Coco sent us a trailer for the girls. However the first time I got out my bike it was clear that my fifteen year old Schwinn needed new tires and alas we FINALLY got it back into the shop last weekend. So two years later and after two trips to the bike shop, we were ready to get the family on two wheels. Let's just say it was well worth the wait and a wonderful time was had by all. Unfortunately I don't have any pictures to share as I'm definitely not coordinated enough to ride and click at the same time.

Our Girls

2011-08-06T07:23:00.001-05:00

A first birthday means a trip to Kiddie Kandids for "professional photos".....let's just pretend we went in June rather than July. You can also pretend that you don't see Lillian's black eye...something she got when she fell at school two days before our recheduled (for the third time) appointment.

Deb surprised us all by showing up to Edith's birthday party back in June AND she brought with her these ~~matching~~ coordinating dresses she made. Is there anything this woman can't make? Speaking of, I don't think I've introduced you to the second puppet she made the girls.....we named him Jerome. I'm adding 'taking his photo' to my list for the weekend because he's just as fabulous as Roxy so you've got to lay eyes on him. Thanks again Deb!

Keeping Track of Her Papa

2011-08-05T06:55:00.007-05:00

J's spending a few days in Iowa seeing an old friend who is visiting from out of state and spending some quality time with his brother. When he left, he told Lillian what his plans were and that he was going to be gone a few days....he'd see her on Saturday. When I picked the girls up yesterday from school, Lillian said again "Remember when I cried about my seat?". Seriously, she BLOWS me away sometimes. So we talked AGAIN about why she was mad, that she cried, and that she has to sit in her car seat. After we picked up some dinner we arrived home and Lillian asked "Papa not here?" and I reminded her about his trip.

After we put Edith to bed, I let her come up to our room and watch Bambi on the MacBook in our bed.......one of her favorite things to do. I'm sure most of you haven't watched Bambi recently, but in the movie Bambi's Papa appears often....usually standing on a cliff overlooking the forest. You can tell he's the Papa because of his big antlers. Every single time he appears in the movie Lillian yells "There's the Papa!".......and when he hasn't appeared in awhile she asks with a concerned tone, "Where the Papa?".

So last night it was more of the same except for the fact that after she said "There's the Papa!" when the eldest deer appeared on the screen she added... "My Papa is in Iowa. With Uncle Jim!". She fumbled a bit with the word "Iowa"....saying it slow and trying to get it just right. When she had it down she said it again > "Papa is in Iowa!".

And then every single time Bambi's Papa appeared on the screen, she'd tell me where her Papa was......just in case I might have forgotten.

Our First Fight

2011-08-04T12:38:00.005-05:00

On Monday I picked up the girls from school and all was typical until Lillian decided she didn't want to sit in her carseat for the ride home. J recently taught her how to climb up into her seat herself and although it sometimes drives me crazy because it takes her longer to do it herself, it is adorable to see her so pleased with herself...."I did it!".

So on Monday Lillian climbed up into the Jeep herself, but instead of then climbing up into her seat she decided that she'd rather just sit on the floor of the car for the ride home. She said "Look at me!" and then she laid herself down between the seats....."Shut the door Mama, I ready!" she declared. I laughed it up and asked her to please get her butt in her seat. And then I asked again. And again. And then one more time. Eventually my patience was getting thin, Edith was getting upset, and bottom line, it was too hot outside to be screwing around like this.

I gave her one more chance and sadly she blew it.....so I just picked her up off the floor and put her in the car seat myself. Let's just say she wasn't pleased. I literally had to wrestle her to get the straps buckled on the car seat and by this time I was just as mad as she was. She of course was crying and nothing I said or did could make her feel better. I tried numerous times to comfort her, but the closer I got to her, the more upset she got....so I decided to just let her be.

She cried until J got home and then of course she immediately stopped. She jumped in his arms and laid her head on his shoulder. He took her upstairs with him while he changed clothes and when they came down, I tried to talk to her again but she wasn't quite ready.......she said "I still mad at you."

I - still - mad - at - you > five words I never expected to hear from my 2.5 year old. Maybe from her nine year old self. For sure from her 13 year old self. But TWO YEARS OLD!?!

But the thing is, it didn't even phase me because a car seat isn't a grey area....she HAS to ride in one. End of story. I don't even care that it's the LAW....it's the safe thing to do and therefore it's the right thing to do. I think we've gone a bit safety crazy (bike helmets with big wheels?), but car seats are not something I consider to be frivolous. So if she wants to be mad about a car seat then fine.....she can be as mad as she wants.

Insert Tuesday.

I'm picking the girls up like usual, Lillian is climbing into her seat, and as I start to buckle her straps she says "Remember yesterday when I cried?". I said "Yes."...surprised that she remembered... and then she replied, "I not crying today!". I chuckled a bit and said "Nope." as I clicked in the buckle and tested it to make sure it's tight. Lillian than sighed and said "I sorry Mama."

I think I smiled bigger than I have ever smiled in my life......"Apology accepted." I replied as I gave her a big hug...."Mama loves you".

We're right in the middle of watching Edith learn how to walk which is an amazing time in a child's life. I swear age 9 months - 15 months are mind blowing (for parents and probably to the child as well) and it's easy to document as the physical changes are clearly evident. This communication thing is something completely different though. Lillian understands far more than I ever imagined she would at this age and where my ability for words are lacking when trying to describe the phenomenon, hers are multiplying.

Working the Walker

2011-07-29T20:21:00.001-05:00

This video is from tonight....less than thirty minutes ago actually. Edith was standing without holding onto anything for a few seconds at a time so we decided to see what she could do with the walker.

Of course I had to go back and look at some video of Lillian with that same walker. In both of these videos my girls are roughly 13.5 months old. Edith is far bigger in size however....she grew out of that outfit Lillian's is wearing in her video MONTHS ago. Is it strange that it is the outfits that make me sentimental?

She Stands

2011-07-27T06:45:00.001-05:00

You know that second child syndrome everyone talks about? The one where there are no pictures or videos of any other child in the family except for the first? In our case that theory is modified a bit as we have plenty of photos of Edith....and we have some video as well. The real problem is that Lillian steals the show in every.single.video.

She's either talking through it all, or her head is in the viewfinder so you can't see anything beyond her, or she's saying "I wanna see!" over and over again. It's rare to capture Edith without any distractions so although this isn't THE best video of her standing up, it's at least just Edith doing her thing.

This was from Sunday, July 17th and Lillian was still in bed. Early weekend mornings are when I get to spend some quality time with my youngest while the rest of my family sleeps and just thinking about it brings a smile to my face.

By the way, I think she's right on track to walking by mid-August so I'm going to go ahead and claim my winnings from J already.

Peace.Love.Iowa

2011-07-26T21:12:00.001-05:00

She said "Take my picture Mama!"........so I did. Thanks to the Shaffer's for the fabulous Iowa t-shirt!

Sunday Afternoon Ice Cream

2011-07-25T21:30:00.002-05:00

Unlike last weekend, Edith wanted to partake......so she stole my chocolate malt. Thankfully there wasn't much left as she sucked the rest of the cup down in record time. I guess we have another ice cream fan on our hands.....although I don't think I've ever met anyone who doesn't like ice cream.

Neighborhood Water Park

2011-07-24T16:28:00.001-05:00

Cheering Her Sister On From the Sidelines

Dodging the Water Shoots

I Almost Lost My Mind

2011-07-22T01:51:00.001-05:00

I know I just posted some wonderful conversations I've recently had with Lillian and rest assured 90% of the time life with her is amazing. That other 10% though is for the birds.....the whining/crying toddler part dries me insane on a daily basis.

I recently had a college friend and his wife in town for a visit. They have a three month old daughter and after spending a couple of hours with our family they started asking questions about having two children, toddler hood, raising girls, etc. I heard myself say "Oh God, this toddler stuff is HARD!". The second that sentence was out of my mouth I wanted to take it back. You see, I always hate it when parents try to scare one another with horror stories even if they are completely valid.

Although I thoroughly enjoy watching Lillian grow up in front of my eyes, there are times when she's throwing herself on her bedroom floor where I literally would trade her in for a set of newborn of triplets....because THAT can't remotely be worse.

Five hours ago Lillian was upset because I put her evening ice water in the wrong cup. Obviously I don't think the cup was the full issue as she was clearly overtired and yet didn't want to go to bed. She however chose to take it out on the cup and the result almost made me lose my mind. After exerting more patience than I've ever had in my life, I was at my breaking point when I remembered a blog I had read earlier in the day on my lunch break. In it the Mama of a grade schooler wrote.....

"Parents of toddlers: YOUR FUTURE IS AWESOME!"

When I read it I thought to myself, "Really?!? Oh good GOD.....I can't wait!". Nine hours later I was repeating those four words......"YOUR FUTURE IS AWESOME!".....over and over again as my toddler cried about a pink cup.

A mother farking PINK cup.....GAH!!!

I have a friend who is in her third week of motherhood and recently asked a question about how in the world you get out of the house with a newborn. A mutual friend had some great advice....she basically said you just do it. You fumble your way through it a couple of times and eventually you figure it out. Slowly, but surely it gets better and before you know it the memories of sleepless nights, fussy newborns, the smell of spoiled milk fad, and BAM it's over.

I couldn't have agreed more and I'm just hoping the same holds true for toddlerhood.

Toddler Talk

2011-07-20T23:29:00.001-05:00

Last Saturday at the grocery store.....

Lillian: "Mama, I want horse crackers!"
Mama: "Horse crackers? I don't know what those are."
Lillian: "HORSE crackers!!"
Mama: "Point them out to me......"
Lillian: "Right THERE Mama! HOOOOOORSE crackers!!!"
Mama: "Oh, you mean ANIMAL crackers."
Lillian: "Yeah, animal crackers."

I drive an 18 year old Jeep that doesn't have air conditioning and it's been in the high 90's all week long. I typically pick up the girls from school at 4:45pm.

Lillian: "Mama, your car is HOT!"
Mama: "I know."
Lillian: "OUCH! It's burning me."
Mama: "It's not burning you."
Lillian: "Papa's car is NOT hot!"
Mama: "I know....he's got air conditioning."
Lillian: "How come Papa's car has air and yours doesn't?"
Mama: "That's a VERY good question.....you'll have to ask Papa when we get home."

Lillian: "Papa, Mama's car is HOT! I like your car better."

I went to the basement after putting Edith to bed and find Lillian and J watching cartoons. (Side note: I'm pretty sure J's been waiting most of his adult life to have a child just so he can watch cartoons again.)

Lillian: "Mama, I watching Scooby Do Where Are YOU!"
Mama: "I see that. What's going on?"
Lillian: "Papa turn it on for ME!" she says as she points to her chest.
J: "Oh no, the mystery machine just exploded!"
Lillian: "Oooohhhh, that's SCAREY!"
Mama: "When did Daphine become such an air head?"
J: "She's always been an air head....her role is to be sexy."
Lillian: "What's sexy?"
Mama: "I think we should turn off the television and read some books instead."

We've just entered Lillian's bedroom and are climbing into her bed to read some books before she goes to bed.

Lillian: "Bubbie's (our cat) have hands?"
Mama: "No, cats have paws."
Lillian: "Oh. Kya (the other cat) have hands?"
Mama: "Nope, she has paws too."
Lillian: "Oh. I have hands!" she says as she holds out her hands...."little ones."
Mama: "Ah ha....."
Lillian: "Edith has little hands TOO!".......
Mama: "Ah ha...."
Lillian: "You have BIG hands!!"

Lillian: "I want to show you something."...she says as she grabs her 'Fox and the Hound' book.

She opens the book.....

Lillian: "That's Big Mama."....she says as she points at the owl.
Lillian: "And that's Todd.".....as she points at the fox...."And that's Cooper"....as she points to the hound.

She turns a few pages...

Lillian: "And THAT's the Bear.......GRROOWWLLLL!"

She turns a few more pages and continues to resite the story to me as she points at the pictures. My reading skills are obviously not needed tonight.

Ice Cream

2011-07-18T06:12:00.001-05:00

5" in 24 Hours

2011-07-16T10:58:00.000-05:00

Our basement didn't fair very well and obviously the park didn't either. Lillian said "Oh NO!!" repeatedly and I think that sums it up perfectly.

10 Minutes From Our House

2011-07-14T13:03:00.001-05:00

More pictures from our day at Lake Johanna.....thanks for sending them Coco!

Love Letter: Month Thirteen

2011-07-11T12:33:00.001-05:00

Dear Edith,

Over the weekend you turned thirteen months old.....you are officially not a baby anymore, but not yet a toddler either. We started this month with your first birthday party which we held in the backyard. A whole slew of family and friends came to celebrate with us and a great time was had by all. Balloons were lost to the sky, carrot cake cupcakes were devoured, and laughter was abundant. I've officially decided that a summer birthday may just be the best thing ever....congratulations girlfriend!

You continue to wave and clap, but you also now raise your hands to the sky when asked "How big is Edith?". Right now the answer is "Soooooo big!", but come fall we're going to turn the game into "Touch Down!" and I can't wait.

This month you've started talking up a storm....no really, you literally don't shut up. It's amazing because you truly are expressing yourself.....your facial expressions combined with all your gestures add to the "words" that come out of your mouth. We might not be able to completely make out the "words", but I'm totally convinced they are full sentences. This combined with your laughter and amazing smile have continued to enrich all of our lives.

You've been crawling all over the house and getting into everything. We're convinced that you move faster than Lillian ever did although you like the same things she did....recycling containers, cat food dishes, and crumbs of food you've thoughtfully thrown from your highchair tray at an earlier meal to satisfy your need for a snack. Missing a meal is surely not on your agenda.

Edith, you've just recently started pulling yourself to your feet, but I'm convinced learning to walk is going to mimic they way you learned to crawl. You spent two months thinking about it, practicing moving one body part at a time, making sure everything was perfect.....then BAM....you were off to the races. Your Papa and I have a friendly bet about when it's going to happen and only time will tell.....another five weeks in my opinion.

We've been taking your sister swimming at a nearby wading pool this summer and until yesterday you wanted nothing to do with the water....getting upset the second your feet hit said water. But yesterday was a whole different story.....you sat on the edge of the wading pool with me and literally kicked your feet in the water all the while laughing at Lillian who was "swimming". Of course I didn't even change you into your swimsuit based on your past reactions, but overall I think it was fine. Like I said, you seem to like to ease into everything giving it careful thought and foresight.

In the last thirty days your personality has grown more so than it has every month before. You make all of us laugh daily, are completely uninterested in your sisters toddler tantrums, and are still at heart a Mama's girl....I couldn't ask for anything more. Edith, you may not officially be a baby anymore, but you're still my baby....and will always be.

Love, Mama

Love Letter: Month Thirty

2011-07-06T06:06:00.005-05:00

Dear Lillian,

Last Saturday you turned two and a half years old and I can't believe you are well on your way to three. There are moments when it feels like you are still my three pound baby and I scoop you up to hold you tight. And there are also moments where something you say or do will throw me for a loop and I fast forward to what I think you'll be like at age seven or beyond. I'm not sure how this can happen at age two, but it does.

In the last three months your ability to communicate has continued to astonish us. You make us laugh daily with the things you say and we've become THOSE parents who repeat your quotes to each other long after you've gone to bed for the night. You tell us stories that utilize your ever growing imagination. You give a running commentary on what Edith is up to. And sadly you've even started trying to manipulate us. "Papa said I can't have ice cream." you'll say with a whine in an attempt to see if I'll give in to your request instead. Most of the time we're grateful for your ever increasing vocabulary, but sometimes you give a glimpse into what the future will hold.

You finished up your second swim lesson session in May and I can honestly say that you are a swimmer. The last four lessons were a pure delight as I watched everything come together for you. This summer we've been enjoying time at the wading pool, your pool in the back yard, and even the nearby lakes. Watching you run around in your swim suit having fun reminds me of my own childhood and I'm thankful that you seem to enjoy it as much as I did.

In addition to water, your obsession with the park has escalated. You ask to go to the park every single night and we'd gladly take you, but you HATE to leave. It's honestly a battle and therefore we've restricted our trips to only a few times a week. Instead we stay in the backyard or go on walks around the neighborhood, but the park is not far from your mind even when we are having fun somewhere else....."I want to go to the park!" you'll demand....and then you'll follow it up with a shy "Please" when I give you a look that indicates I don't like your tone. I can't believe I'm already talking about the tone you give me from time to time. Should I even admit that I've already said "You are not the boss, I'm the boss!"? Shiver.

Sadly I knew that once we introduced you to television, it'd be something you'd like and therefore want to do on a regluar basis. We started with Disney's "Cinderella", but after watching it at least a half dozen times we introduced you to "The Fox and the Hound" and "Pinocchio". You also like Scooby Doo and Sponge Bob Square Pants.....and I'm totally blaming your Papa for those. We typicaly limit your television viewing to three times a week, but like the park you won't go a day without asking about one of the above. Luckily your love of books has not diminished and we still read a handful of books before bed on a daily basis. I'm glad we didn't totally break you.

Lillian, you've recently started asking for kisses and "huggies".....and there isn't anything in the world better than feeling your arms around my neck. You also started saying "I love you" which melts my heart. We go round and round with you daily about using your words instead of crying and whining, but at the end of the day when I'm laying in your bed finishing up the sixth book you selected and you ask for a hug and kiss goodnight, I can't imagine that there could possibly be a more sweet of a girl in the whole wide world.

The good in you far outweighs the bad...and when I say "bad" please know that I understand it's just your attempt to push the boundaries and see what you can get away with in this world. At age thrity-three I find myself doing the same thing daily.....just without the pout.

Love, Mama

Monday in the Backyard

2011-07-05T06:02:00.000-05:00

Two of My Favorite Things

2011-07-04T14:36:00.001-05:00

I snoop through J's pictures on his iPhone because nine times out of ten I find gems......like THIS one from Saturday at the Schoeman's. Jack Daniels and cake with cream cheese frosting > God Bless America!

Sunday at One of the 10,000 Lakes

2011-07-03T19:09:00.000-05:00

Saturday at the Schoeman's

2011-07-02T21:18:00.000-05:00

Barefoot Contessa Flag Cake

Not the Postman's Daughter

2011-06-30T12:20:00.000-05:00

Pictures from Edith's 1st Birthday Party have been hitting my inbox all month, but this is one of my favorites.

Sturgis Falls 2011

2011-06-26T18:52:00.001-05:00

Just like last year and all the years before that we headed to Cedar Falls this past weekend for the annual Sturgis Fall celebration. And just like last year, we're all suffering from PPD......post party depression. The more I spend time in that town, the more I like it. Thanks for the love friends......

Going Global

2011-06-24T06:05:00.017-05:00

Remember this project? It's fully under construction....demolition complete, steel erected, concrete poured, framing well under way, etc. The budget is still tight and the contingency is slowly depleting, but the deadline is firm.....students will be arriving in early September. I'm confident all three departments are going to like their new digs.

A few weeks ago I also got started on my next project which is located in the holiest city in Islam.....Makkah. Yes, THE Makkah in Saudi Arabia. We've got TWO hospitals to plan in a VERY short time period so it's off to the races. 13 million Muslims visit the city annually so needless to say it's a busy place....and busy places need hospitals. I've been learning about the culture, wrapping my head around their customs, and giving my expertise in healthcare a bit of a twist. I'm looking forward to seeing where this experience will take me.

Big Kids Pool - Year Two

2011-06-21T06:05:00.003-05:00

I took the girls to the wading pool for the first time this summer on Saturday and was BLOWN away by the difference in Lillian from last year. It's amazing what a year in age, a few inches in height, and a couple of swim lessons will do for a girl. Obviously I was anxious for J to see it for himself so we went again last night.......

On Two Wheels

2011-06-20T06:00:00.000-05:00

Pappy and Coco gave the girls a bike trailer earlier this summer and a couple of weeks ago half the family gave it a whirl. We're now hoping to get some real miles under our belt soon as it really is a great tool to get the whole family involved in biking. Minneapolis just surpassed Portland and is now THE best city to ride a bike in......when in Rome.